Ah, dating. Somehow, despite all of the advances in technology and communication devices, dating can still be really rough. Is his ghosting me? Or Gatsbying me? Is he flirting with other women on Instagram? The list goes on. On top of all of these 21st century dating woes, dating can be frustrating because some men just really don’t know how to be in a relationship. Sure, the honeymoon stage is great for everyone, but maintaining that spark and the feelings of attraction can become difficult if a guy doesn’t know how to treat his lady (and vice versa, of course). But for any men out there looking to be better partners, we have some hot boyfriend tips for you.
Most adults know that an actual relationship is a partnership that should be built on mutual respect, honesty, and kindness. But, according to some of the women on AskReddit, there are a few things men could be doing better in relationships.
Men, be honest: when was the last time you had a really deep conversation with bae? If you live with your girlfriend, how often do you help out around the house without being asked to do so? Do you get frustrated when your girlfriend gets mad at you for giving her what seems to be some much-needed advice? Turns out you are not alone. Here are some of the best boyfriend tips for men who want to step up their relationship game and make their girlfriends feel appreciated and loved.
1. Small Compliments And Some Reassurance Can Do A Lot Of Heavy Lifting
It’s no secret that everyone likes being complimented, and your partner is no exception. User logo28 suggests that men step up their game by reminding their girlfriends why they fell for them in the first place.
It doesn’t always need to be a massive compliment either.
Little compliments given to a partner, like how wonderful her laugh is or how amazing her chocolate chip cookies are, go a long, long way.
2. Stop Trying To Come Off As A “Chill” Person – Because It Can Read As Detached And Uninterested
There’s nothing wrong with having a laid-back personality, but when men act cool for the sake of appearing cool, it can be a massive turnoff. User LexiTheMistake pointed this out, adding that seeing a man get psyched about something is “adorable.”
Showing off your personality – which includes your quirks, hobbies, and interests – is a much better way to connect with a partner than feigning chill.
So go ahead dudes, geek out a little every once in a while.
3. You Can Vent To Your Girlfriend Every Once In A While, But Remember She’s Not Your Therapist
One of the best things about having a partner is having someone safe to vent to, whether it be about a crummy day at work or something awkward a family member said on Facebook.
Men can get themselves into trouble, however, when all they do is complain to their girlfriends.
Some couples, like user AtlantisLuna and their partner, have even designated certain areas of their home as “no complaint zones,” and they claim it has helped their relationship greatly. Before complaining to a partner impulsively, hold on to the thought for a minute and see if it is worth releasing into the world — and unloading onto your girlfriend.
4. Don’t Do The Bare Minimum When It Comes To Household Chores
Cleaning up after yourself is a no-brainer, but what about all of the little things around the house that need regular cleaning? User kucky94 suggests that men stop simply “cleaning up after themselves” and take it to the next level.
If something appears clean and orderly all the time and you have no idea how, there is a chance your partner is picking up the slack.
Keeping a shared space clean should be an equally shared responsibility, so please act like it. No woman wants to feel like her boyfriend’s maid or mother.
5. Men Can Be Friends With Their Girlfriends – But They Should Treat Them Like Romantic Partners First
What guy doesn’t love a woman who can hang with his pals? Hanging out with a significant other and your friends can be a great way to be social with all of your favorite people at once, but this shouldn’t be the only way a guy hangs out with his girlfriend.
Men need to remember that their girlfriends are exactly that – their girlfriends.
Just like when you were courting her, it is important to keep the romance alive with your girlfriend. Spending quality one-on-one time with your significant other will only help make your relationship stronger.
6. Be Considerate And Giving During Intimate Moments
According to a 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, heterosexual men reported climaxing with partners 95% of the time, whereas heterosexual women only reported getting there only 65% of the time. Um, this is not okay.
Straight men need to make sure their partners are getting there just as frequently as they are.
Many women are not able to climax from penetration alone. If your female partner’s toes aren’t curling as often as yours, have a discussion (optimally when you are not being intimate) to see what gets her going. Trust us, it will make bedroom time a whole lot better for you, too.
7. Don’t Completely Compartmentalize Romantic Relationships
While it isn’t fair to describe an entire gender in broad strokes, many straight women often complain about their men “compartmentalizing” them, or not integrating them into their lives.
“Men are more emotionally compartmentalized — women’s brains seem to have more overall connectivity, which means emotions from one experience or task spill into other experiences and tasks,” dating consultant David Bennett told Bustle.
A girlfriend isn’t someone a guy gets to hang out with when it’s only convenient for him.
Part of being in a relationship is making the occasional sacrifice — be it giving up time with the guys for a special night out or answering texts in a timely fashion. Again, it’s the little things that count, and treating a girlfriend like she a vital part of your life instead of someone you hang out with when you have nothing else to do will strengthen your bond.
8. Learn How To Take Care Of Your Own Emotional Needs
This piece of advice goes out to everyone, not just men. In order to be emotionally supportive to someone else, you need to make sure you have your own mental-health ducks in a row. User foxsweater urges men to be more vulnerable and learn about their emotional and mental needs.
Out of all these boyfriend tips, this one is super important: don’t ignore emotions or shove little things down, it will only lead to a messy eruption later on.
So take some time to love yourself. In the immortal words of RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
9. Women Aren’t Always Looking For Your Advice — They Just Need Someone To Listen
This is easily one of the most common complaints from women about their men. Just like you, sometimes us ladies need to vent, and we need you to simply listen.
Men are often natural problem solvers, but suggesting solutions to your girlfriend can quickly come off as condescending.
Your girlfriend is an adult, and she has made it this far in life without you. This means that she has almost definitely thought of the three solutions to her problem you are about to suggest. Practice active listening and validate your girlfriend’s feelings so she feels empowered to tackle her own issues.
If an issue comes up repeatedly, you can always ask if she is looking to simply vent or if she is seeking advice. She’ll tell you.
10. Be Your Own Person
For some men (and women!) it is easy to focus all of their attention on the relationship. Like, only focus on the relationship.
Yes, attention is good, but you need to have a life outside of your partner.
All of the things you were doing before you were with your girlfriend are what attracted her to you in the first place. Continue pursuing your own hobbies and interests to keep the relationship from becoming flat, or, even worse, smothered.
11. Support Her Passions — Even If You Don’t Share Them
Not all of your interests will necessarily match up with your girlfriend’s, and that is completely fine! What isn’t fine, however, is shooting down your girlfriend’s interests or hobbies because they don’t pertain to you. User UnpopularRight noted that this lack of support ultimately ended her last relationship.
You don’t have to learn everything about your girlfriend’s unique hobby, but showing up with enthusiasm makes all the difference.
The woman in your life is striding toward great things. Make sure she knows you have her back in these endeavors.
12. Be Mature And Knowledgeable About Her Body
It is horrifying how many adult men genuinely think that women can “hold” their periods like urine or that they should avoid their girlfriend while she is PMS-ing, because, you know, mood swings.
Our education system makes sure we all know how the male anatomy works, but female anatomy is woefully under-taught.
Take it upon yourself to learn about your girlfriend’s body, cycle, and symptoms (if any) she has during her cycle. If you are both into it, brush up on period sex etiquette, too. Your girlfriend will be incredibly impressed with your initiative to learn more about her and her body.
13. Indulge In Physical Touch Without Ulterior Motives
Don’t get us wrong, women enjoy having sex. However, women also love physical touch that doesn’t necessarily lead to the bedroom.
Light touching, hugs, and snuggles give both men and women a sweet hit of oxytocin, AKA the “cuddle hormone.”
According to Live Science, this helps women feel more connected to their partner (and babies), and it helps men in committed relationships maintain a sense of loyalty to their lady. Stroke her hair, offer massages, or simply snuggle while watching Netflix to maintain your bond.
14. Don’t Freak Out About Her Male Friends
Ah, jealousy. We are all capable of becoming a green-eyed monster, but that will always do more harm than good. As user tiredchetts pointed out, being jealous of your girlfriend’s male friends can come off as a slight toward your girlfriend.
Even if you say you “don’t trust her guy friends,” what you are also saying is you don’t trust your girlfriend to rebuke their advances if they were to try anything.
Trust can be hard to build. But if you don’t want to drive your woman into the arms of a more secure man, try to get comfortable with the fact that women can be friends with men without being attracted to them.
15. Learn Her Love Language
According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s bestseller The 5 Love Languages, we all have different ways in which we shown affection. Dr. Chapman believes everyone has a “primary” love language — words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch, or quality time. Most people enjoy a combination of all these types of affection, but often people have a clear preference for how they want to be shown love.
Figuring out your girlfriend’s primary love language will help you effectively communicate your feelings.
The old adage goes, “treat others as you would like to be treated,” but really, you should treat your girlfriend how she wants to be treated. You can also guide her when it comes to your own love language preferences so she knows how to make you feel validated as well.
16. Be Open With Communication
Nearly any issue that a couple has can be traced back to poor communication. Bottling things up, not sharing your daily lives with one another, or being passive just to come off as “nice” will harm your relationship. As far as boyfriend tips go, this one’s definitely not always the easiest, but it’s so important.
Being honest, open, and direct with your feelings (even when it is hard or awkward) is key to a successful relationship.
Being honest means being vulnerable, so we get it: it can be scary. But if you want to have a rewarding and fun relationship, you have to be able to clearly speak about what’s on your mind.