It’s human nature to be curious about ourselves and others. Whether you take a more analytical, psychology-backed personality test or a fun zodiac-based quiz, you likely do it to gain insight on who you are. And of all the personality tests out there, the most notable is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator; it uses four categories to help define a personality type.
And people often identify with having introverted or extroverted personality types. Typically, introverts are considered shy, while extroverts are considered outgoing. But personality types are much more complex than that. We can partially define introversion and extroversion in terms of energy and how one responds to external stimuli. Do you gain energy when you’re surrounded by people? If so, you’re a textbook extrovert. Do you gain energy when you’re alone? If the answer’s yes, you’re probably an introvert.
Although it might seem like extroverts take over, there are many people with introvert personality traits. Here are 20 (sometimes completely contradicting and awkward) things only other introverts will understand.
1. We’re basically human cats.
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You consider yourself a cat person or dog person.
But there’s no denying that introverts and felines have a lot in common. You might even consider cats the introverts of the animal kingdom. We’re fiercely independent and extremely selective about who gets to occupy their time. When cats do choose to spend time with someone, they typically need time to bond and form a real connection much like many introverted people. Felines also like to cuddle but need their space too. Need we say more?
2. Introvert hangovers are real.
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Do you ever feel irritable and physically exhausted after going out with a large group of people? You’re not just experiencing the aftermath of an alcohol-induced hangover. In fact, you likely contracted an introvert hangover. When introverts become overstimulated in social situations, we can experience physical symptoms of illness like sweaty palms or nausea. And if you’re ever at a party and you see someone inching slowly to the door, they might already be on the verge of experiencing an introvert hangover.
3. We’re all about JOMO, not FOMO.
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Forget the fear of missing out; introverts are all about the joy of missing out. You won’t find an introvert constantly scrolling through their phone on a Friday night or wishing they were bar hopping. On weekends, most introverts will probably be tucked into bed with a face mask. And there’s no place else we’d rather be.
4. We probably pass on big parties, networking events, and loud places in general.
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Big crowds can be an introvert’s worst nightmare.
Especially when the crowd is filled with lots of small talk and a handful of familiar faces. If the introvert in question is not up for meeting new people, they’re probably attached to a friend or (if they’re lucky) hanging out with an amicable pet someone graciously brought to the party.
5. We usually don’t want to go out but we appreciate the invitation.
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Chances are every time you ask your introvert friend to go out they say no. In fact, few things sound better to them than being in the comfort of their own home. As contradictory as it sounds, though, most introverts probably still want to be invited anyways. Regardless of our answer, it feels nice when we’re considered for events and gatherings.
6. If we do go out, we will probably leave early.
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Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, you have a social battery. Extroverts just happen to be Energizer bunnies; sometimes they can go hours and hours in any social situation. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to have shorter social battery lives. Because of introverts’ short-lived bursts of energy, when we find ourselves out and about, we often leave social events early.
7. Alone time is the best time.
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It takes a lot of courage to truly sit back and enjoy alone time.
For many people, especially extroverts, the idea of prolonged solitude can be anxiety-inducing. For introverts, however, alone time is practically embedded in their daily routines. It’s essential that introverts take time for themselves to reflect, recharge, and unwind from any overstimulation. That doesn’t mean we don’t love people, we just love them in smaller doses. It’s nothing personal, it’s just how we are.
8. For introverts, doing nothing is something.
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And we like doing nothing.
Have you ever told someone you wanted to stay in and the other person responded negatively? Maybe they think you’re no fun or dull. But just because introverts aren’t always down to party doesn’t mean we aren’t fun. We simply define fun differently. In fact, we can have just as much fun staying in as other people have going out. To each their own.
9. Sometimes we want to do nothing together.
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Introverts love to do nothing.
Sometimes, though, it’s nice to do nothing with someone else. An ideal night might consist of ordering takeout and watching a movie on Netflix. During our nothing time, we can also be huge fans of comfortable silence. That doesn’t mean we sit and stare at each other when we hang out, but we don’t constantly feel the pressure to fill the quiet with noise.
10. We have active imaginations and are rarely bored.
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Introverts have a lot of things going on internally. We have vivid internal worlds filled with deep thought and emotion. For creative introverts, the mind is likely consumed with an upcoming artistic project. Even if we look a little spaced out at times, we’re probably not bored. We just keep ourselves occupied in our heads.
11. We love getting lost in a good book.
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When introverts aren’t entertaining themselves, they love to get lost in an exceptionally good book. It does not matter if the book is a thriller, a nonfiction, or an autobiography, we simply love to immerse ourselves in another world. Not to mention, novel-reading gives us more alone time. And very few introverts pass up that.
12. We take a handful of true, close friends over a bunch of acquaintances any day.
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Have you ever met someone who has 15 best friends?
There’s certainly nothing wrong with it, but few introverts prefer such large social circles. Instead, introverts truly value the meaning of fewer close friendships; they don’t like to juggle emotions. And they might not have time to build up trust with dozens of acquaintances. Now, that doesn’t mean that an acquaintance couldn’t potentially become a close friend, but many introverts like to move at slower paces.
13. We despise small talk and loving deep meaningful conversations.
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Introverts are not here for small talk.
It’s usually painful, and, to put it plainly, we can’t stand it. Our cup of tea actually calls for less shallow socializing and more meaningful conversations. With us, talk about your passions, your dreams, but please don’t bring up the weather with your introvert friend (unless those truly are your passions).
14. We crave close connections and complete independence at the same time.
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This is just more confirmation that introverts are human cats.
We love quality time with our loved ones. We truly do. It’s rewarding to spend time with them and feel closely connected. As much as we love our friends and family, though, we simultaneously feel the need to be independent. Sometimes we really need our space. At that point, we’re probably due for a battery recharge.
15. Dating as an introvert can be especially tough at first.
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Dating, in general, isn’t always easy but for introverts.
The process can prove quite challenging. And the small talk that seems obligatory for first dates is especially problematic. Overall, dating can seem like a never-ending interview filled with questions like, “What do you do?” and “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Too much small talk and any introvert might check out. But jump into unsolicited deep conversations too soon and we might jump ship then too. It’s all about balance.
16. Just because we’re quiet sometimes doesn’t mean we’re shy.
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One of the biggest misconceptions about introverts is that we’re all quiet and shy. However, just because we might not lead the conversation or talk your ear off doesn’t mean we don’t care. In fact, it usually means we are truly listening. In all honesty, silence can be an introvert’s greatest strength. We’re proud of it.
17. It’s not uncommon for people to underestimate us.
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This is especially true for introverts who work in an office.
We might not be the first to step up during pitch meetings but that doesn’t mean we don’t have great ideas. It can be quite the internal struggle for an introvert to step forward and receive credit for their hard work all while avoiding the spotlight. This can cause co-workers and some bosses to underestimate us but don’t be fooled. We celebrate our victories internally.
18. Our bedrooms are our safe spaces.
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Home truly is where the heart resides for introverts.
In fact, we absolutely love the comfort of our homes, especially our bedrooms. They’re our places for peace, quiet, and lots and lots of naps. If you have an introvert roommate, you might notice their need to find refuge in their rooms often. But it’s rarely anything personal.
19. We keep our headphones in 90 percent of the time.
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Whether listening to our curated playlists or catching up on our favorite podcasts, most introverts use their headphones in public. In fact, even if we’re not listening to anything at all, we feel comfortable with that extra barrier. Headphones universally tell strangers to leave the wearer alone. We might as well be wearing a sign that says “Please don’t talk to me.”
20. If you don’t get us, that’s okay — sometimes we’re figuring it out too.
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It’s a process.
If introverts seem like enigmatic to you, you’re not alone. We’re fully aware that our wants and needs can be contradicting at times but like you, we’re learning. Each day is a new beginning and another opportunity to peel back the layers to become better grounded and in touch with our introverted selves.
