Most of us retreat to the same position each night in order to fall asleep. Some stomach sleepers need their head turned to the right to catch some z’s, whereas side-sleepers resort to a fetal position. And then there are those of us who need to be cuddling something, be it a pillow, a stuffed animal, or any inanimate object. Why is cuddling so important to some? Are we projecting our loneliness? Please say we’re not.
Depending on where you look, pillow-huggers can be classified as one thing or another. Elite Daily says that sleeping with a pillow means you “value close personal bonds.” In a Reddit thread on the topic, some say they hug a pillow because they’re single and lonely, and others say they just do it out of habit.
Stephanie Silberman, a Florida-based licensed clinical psychologist, board-certified in sleep treatment, told Vice’s Tonic, “I think every individual is going to be different. You should never classify all these people who hug pillows as poor, lonely souls or [as having] avoidant personalities.”
Silberman went on to say some choose to sleep while cuddling a pillow to treat physical ailments like sleep apnea or pregnancy back pain or discomfort.
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Sleep apnea and pregnancy aside, Silberman continued, “People are very routine-oriented. If they do things in a typical way and they grab a pillow every night, it’s very comforting to them.”
She said that the pillow or stuffed animal can act as an “environmental clue” that subconsciously triggers your brain that it’s time for sleep. Furthermore, Silberman added that for those with anxiety, sleeping while holding something can offer the relaxation and comfort needed to doze off.
“[The pillow is] a constant that, as adults, we can like as well, and there’s nothing wrong with that,” Silberman told Tonic.
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Plus, hugging a pillow may have been ingrained into us during childhood. Parents often introduce teddy bears or baby blankets to babies as a way of transitioning them into being alone at night, child psychotherapist Bonnie Allie told Tonic. This object makes a child feel as though they are still safe with their parent.
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Sleeping while hugging a pillow is not so much about lacking a significant other, but it’s about feeling comforted and secure. Whether we do it subconsciously, or realize we need to hug something in order to fall asleep, cuddling a pillow is completely normal and may not need any reading into. Phew!