Warning: If your nightmares star creepy old baby dolls, then we urge you to click away now. Go read this fun article about Rihanna, or this apropos story about how to not have nightmares (tip: don’t watch the below video). Okay, this is your last chance. Otherwise you’re not going to be able to get this vintage baby doll’s horrendous moving face out of your mind. Trust us.
A Twitter user with the handle @GammaCounter, who goes by Alan, uploaded a video of his wife’s childhood doll — a 1972 Saucy Expressions Doll. Made by Mattell, Saucy was marketed as a baby doll who could change her facial expressions with a crank of her arm. And man, are those expressions truly horrible.
If you think standard baby doll eyes are soulless, just wait until you see Saucy’s “wink.” Paired with a few troubling mouth movements, we wish we could unsee the horror that is Saucy.
“My wife found her childhood doll amongst a bunch of old stuff,” Alan captioned the video. “Look at the range of emotions it goes through.”
Alan added that his wife called her Saucy doll “Gilly,” and she supposedly comes with a cute pink pinafore dress, a matching gingham shirt, and white buckle shoes.
[fm_twitter url=”https://twitter.com/GammaCounter/status/1024683365537116161″]
[fm_twitter url=”https://twitter.com/GammaCounter/status/1024808313169555457″]
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Although Alan and many of those responding to his original tweet seem completely unfazed by Saucy’s horror movie aesthetic, other Twitter users are reacting, in our opinion, more appropriately.
[fm_twitter url=”https://twitter.com/muttlysaid/status/1024802249464315904″]
[fm_twitter url=”https://twitter.com/WormFinger/status/1025007610179796993″]
[fm_twitter url=”https://twitter.com/mattdbull/status/1025325814714380289″]
Listen, we’re glad Alan and his wife are having a fun, nostalgic time with their Saucy doll. But if Saucy starts acting strange — moving on her own, developing a personality, brandishing weapons, etc. — don’t come crying to us, Alan.