Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions. Even when you’ve been trying for months, a panic often hits you when you see a plus sign in the small window of your freshly-opened pregnancy test. What was once a good idea suddenly seems like the worst thing ever. After voicing the fear out loud that now your parents will know you had sex (even if you’re married, and well in your 30s), the idea softens a bit. You’re pregnant and having a baby — and it’s a really beautiful thing.
Still, some women have another fear that goes through their mind when that test turns positive. It’s the fear of childbirth. Namely, something going wrong while in labor with the baby. The phobia of giving birth is called tokophobia, and for many, it can be the sole reason why kids aren’t in the picture at all.
If you’re already pregnant, there’s a good chance your physician hasn’t brought it up with you. And that’s because, while it’s very real, it’s also somewhat rare. Many of them haven’t been trained on how to handle fear as a debilitating phobia. Plus, since many women are generally a little scared about the big day, sometimes it’s hard for doctors to pinpoint how deep the fear really is.
So, how do you know if you have it? Tokophobia often affects your entire life. It can make you put off family planning, or refuse to enter the hospital room if your sibling is giving birth. Some women get extra paranoid about birth control methods, with others abstain from sex altogether. It’s more than just being scared.
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There are two types of tokophobia out there. Primary tokophobia happens if you’ve never given birth before. Symptoms can crop up after viewing or witnessing a labor with severe complications. Even general anxiety or an incident with assault can bring about the phobia in certain women, according to Health.
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Secondary tokophobia is slightly different, as it’s a phobia a women has after already giving birth at least once. Her first labor could have been traumatic to a level where she doesn’t want to go through it again. Secondary tokophobia is also linked to post-traumatic stress disorder.
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While getting pregnant isn’t something that all women dream of someday, tokophobia can be exceptionally hard to manage for women who aren’t childfree by choice. If you find yourself suffering from this phobia, it’s worth talking to a doctor or a therapist about. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, but no phobia should ever stop you from living the life you once imagined.