Ever wondered why your drink took forever or why the bartender gave you that look? It might be because you’re unknowingly committing some classic bar blunders. Let’s dive into the top things that make bartenders roll their eyes, sigh deeply, and question their career choices.
The ‘Make It Strong’ Demand
Asking for a “strong” drink doesn’t magically double your alcohol content. Bartenders don’t have a secret bottle labeled “Extra Drunk Juice” to pour into your glass.
A standard pour exists for a reason: bars don’t become free-for-all chaos. Want more alcohol? Order a double, pay extra, and STOP giving bartenders puppy eyes.
Demanding a strong drink without paying for it is like asking for a bigger pizza at no charge. It doesn’t work that way, and you know it.
The Fear of ‘Girly’ Drinks
Newsflash: Drinks don’t have genders, but your insecurity sure does! A pink drink with an umbrella won’t revoke your masculinity. It’s alcohol, not a personality test.
Some of the strongest cocktails look deceptively sweet. Ever had a Long Island Iced Tea? That thing will knock you over faster than your fragile ego.
If it tastes good, just drink it. Nobody at the bar is taking notes on your beverage choices—except maybe the bartender, who’s judging you hard.
The Mojito Menace
You love mojitos. Bartenders hate them. Muddling mint and sugar slows everything down, especially on a packed night. Congratulations, you’ve just made the bartender hate you!
It’s like ordering a soufflé at McDonald’s—technically possible, but painfully unnecessary. Your bartender isn’t here to perform a five-minute herb-crushing ritual during happy hour.
If you must order one, do it politely and tip generously. Or better yet, make your own at home and appreciate the effort involved.
Pet Names and Patronizing Terms
Calling the bartender “sweetie” or “boss” isn’t charming—it’s condescending. Unless you personally know them, keep the nicknames to yourself. They have names, but you never asked.
Bartenders are service professionals, not contestants on a dating show. Calling them “babe” isn’t going to score you free drinks. It’s just going to annoy them.
If you wouldn’t say it to your dentist or bank teller, don’t say it to your bartender. Treat them like a person, not a pet.
The To-Go Tip-Off
Bartenders handle takeout orders, too, yet some customers think that means no tip. Just because you’re not sitting at the bar doesn’t mean effort wasn’t involved.
They still package your order, ring you up, and ensure your drink isn’t leaking. It’s not self-service just because you’re taking it with you.
Even a small tip is better than none. You’re not saving anyone’s salary by keeping that extra dollar, but you are saving yourself from bad karma.
TV Takeover Attempts
Demanding the bartender switch the channel to your game is peak entitlement. This isn’t your living room. Other customers exist, and they have preferences, too!
Some bars have set sports schedules. Just because you strolled in doesn’t mean they’ll abandon the other patrons for your precious game.
If it’s that serious, check the schedule beforehand or use your phone. Nobody wants to hear your whining over the actual game commentary.
Tab Transfer Troubles
Moving from the bar to a table? Close your tab first. Bartenders and servers often don’t share tips, so transferring means your bartender may lose their tip.
Leaving the bar without settling the tab is like ghosting after a date—you’re leaving someone hanging, and they’re not thrilled about it.
Make life easier for everyone. Closeout properly, tip accordingly, and start fresh at your table. It’s basic decency, and your bartender will appreciate it.
Tipping Taboos
Tipping isn’t optional, especially on complex cocktails. If you can afford a $15 drink, you can afford an extra dollar or two for the person making it.
Here’s a tip from us (and it’s free): BARTENDERS REMEMBER BAD TIPPERS. If you consistently tip poorly, don’t be surprised when your next drink is suspiciously light on the good stuff.
Think of it as an investment. A generous tip today might just land you that extra-friendly service—or at least ensure your drinks aren’t made with resentment.
Coaster Confetti Creators
Shredding coasters and labels is the bar equivalent of a toddler throwing food on the floor. It’s messy and unnecessary, and someone else has to clean it.
It’s one thing to nervously fidget, but leaving tiny scraps everywhere is peak inconsideration. Your bartender isn’t your personal janitor—act accordingly.
If you must destroy something, maybe choose your bad habits instead of the bar’s property. Your cocktail napkin isn’t a stress ball, so put it down.
The Snap-Happy Summoner
Some people think snapping their fingers will magically speed up service. Just so you know, bartenders are not your personal butlers or obedient pets. Snapping doesn’t get you served faster—it gets you ignored.
Bartenders work in a first-come, first-served system, not a “who can snap the loudest” competition. If anything, snapping just guarantees your drink order gets moved to dead last.
Instead of treating the bar like a dog training class, try using eye contact and patience. You’ll get your drink much faster, and nobody will fantasize about throwing it at you.
The Free Drink Fiasco
Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean the bar owes you free drinks. The only thing guaranteed on your birthday is the slow march toward aging.
Some bars give birthday freebies, but that’s a courtesy, not a right. Asking for one just makes you look desperate for handouts.
Celebrate with friends, buy a round, and enjoy the night. If a freebie happens, great. If not, remember, you’re still older either way.
Behind-the-Bar Boundaries
Reaching over the bar to grab a napkin, straw, or garnish is unacceptable. That’s their workspace, not a buffet for your grubby hands.
You wouldn’t reach into a chef’s kitchen, so why invade the bar? Just ask for what you need, like a civilized human.
Bartenders will happily grab it for you—unless you’re rude. Then they’ll just pretend they didn’t hear you. Respect the boundary and stay in your lane.
Queue Complaints
Nobody likes waiting, but complaining about it won’t speed up service. Bartenders already have a system, and your whining just slows everything down.
If you’re feeling ignored, consider how you ordered. Were you polite, patient, and clear? Or did you wave your arms like you were landing a plane?
Your best bet? Be nice, tip well, and trust that your drink is coming. Annoy the bartender, and your wait might mysteriously double.
Cut-Off Confrontations
Getting cut off isn’t a bartender’s personal attack—it’s a safety measure. If they say you’ve had enough, arguing won’t change reality or make you less drunk.
Bartenders can lose their jobs for overserving. Your slurred speech and swaying stance aren’t helping your case. If anything, they’re proving the bartender right.
Take the hint, grab some water, and call it a night. Fighting about it just ensures you won’t be served next time, either. Enjoy responsibly.
The ‘Usual’ Assumption
Unless you’re a regular known by name, don’t assume bartenders remember your “usual.” They serve hundreds of people a week, and your drink preference isn’t a top priority.
Saying, “You remember what I get, right?” makes the bartender awkward. They’ll either fake it or ask again, making you look silly.
Save everyone the trouble and just order your drink properly. If you come often enough, they’ll remember you—just maybe not your complicated order.
Seat Savers with Stuff
Using a barstool for your coat or bag during peak hours is selfish. That seat isn’t your personal storage locker—someone else could be sitting there.
Bartenders aren’t your security guards. Leaving your stuff unattended and expecting them to watch it while you disappear is unfair and unrealistic.
Find a coat rack if you don’t want your things on your lap. Otherwise, expect dirty looks when others have to stand while your jacket gets cozy.
ID Insistence Issues
Getting upset when asked for ID is ridiculous. Bartenders legally have to check, and your visible wrinkles don’t exempt you from the law.
Saying, “I’m old enough to be your dad!” doesn’t help. If anything, it makes things weirder. Just show your ID and move on.
Take it as a compliment. You’re being mistaken for someone younger! Or at least, that’s what you can tell yourself while digging for your license.
Flirting Fallacies
Bartenders are friendly because it’s their job, not because they’re in love with you. Smiling and conversing is called hospitality—not an invitation to ask them out.
If a bartender is interested, they’ll make it clear. But most of the time, they probably aren’t. Flirting aggressively just makes things awkward for everyone involved.
Want to shoot your shot? Be subtle. Leave your number and walk away. No pressure, no expectations. If they’re interested, they’ll use it. If not, oh well.
The Clueless Last Call Customer
Last call means last call. It’s not the start of a negotiation, nor is it an invitation to order five drinks in one go.
Bartenders don’t control closing time. They just enforce it. Begging for “one more” won’t magically stop the clock or keep the bar open just for you.
Plan ahead. If you want another drink, order before the last call. Otherwise, accept your fate, close your tab, and stumble home like everyone else.
The Michelob Light Meltdown
A man drank Michelob Ultras all evening before noticing his receipt, which said, “Michelob Light.” Instead of shrugging, he launched a full-blown crisis as if he’d discovered a government conspiracy.
Enraged, he hurled his glass at the bartender, demanding justice over this slight mislabeling. A petite barback had the unenviable task of escorting this full-grown tantrum machine out.
During his dramatic exit, he failed to see the emergency exit bar, smashing his face into it. Karma ensured that his biggest injury wasn’t just his dignity.
The Karate Kid Catastrophe
At a wedding, a guest bragged endlessly about his black belt skills. He made guests uncomfortable, puffing his chest like he was auditioning for a remake of Cobra Kai.
After being cut off, he unleashed a drunken tirade, cursing and throwing insults. Then, in a poetic twist, he tried storming out but dramatically tumbled down the stairs.
With a bleeding head, he refused help and overpowered concerned guests. Determined to drive, he left in a rage, leaving behind nothing but confusion, concern, and a terrible impression.
The Hotel Key Conundrum
Being a bartender sounds fun until someone pays you with his hotel key instead of money. Yeah, a customer thought his hotel key was a credit card!
When the bartender corrected him, he confidently denied owning a hotel key. So, the bartender politely asked him to check his wallet.
He dramatically opened it, expecting vindication, only for the bartender to pull out the very hotel key he just denied possessing. Embarrassed, he hastily paid without tipping, storming out with both middle fingers raised. Tsk!
The Midlife Crisis Meltdown
You can’t guess what kind of customers you have in a day. In this instance, a well-dressed woman enjoyed a martini and an expensive bottle of champagne.
Everything’s fine. All seemed normal… until she suddenly started screaming at the manager for no reason! She was eventually escorted out, but she forgot her purse, shoes, and cash inside.
Instead of retrieving them, she began rolling around in a nearby strip mall’s grass. Somehow, despite losing her belongings, she acquired a new pair of shoes while stopping traffic. Isn’t it weird?
The Ric Flair Fiasco
Bartender meets a celebrity story! So, they met Wrestling legend Ric Flair in an airport bar as he ordered a pizza. Since he needed to wait for 20 minutes, Ric got so impatient!
(Sorry, but cooking times still apply to celebrities, Ric.) He waved cash, trying to intimidate staff into speeding up the cooking process. Unfortunately for him, bartenders don’t control ovens, and pizza still requires time to bake.
After failing to flex his way into a faster meal, he sulked while waiting. Buddy, we’re reminding you that even world champions can’t escape the reality that good pizza takes patience.
The Fake FBI Agent
Well, who likes aggressive customers at nightclubs? No one. But this dude had the audacity to insist that he was an undercover FBI agent! His main argument? “You have to serve me; it’s the law.”
When cut off, he became furious, flashing a clearly fake badge at staff. He wasn’t intimidating anyone, considering his “ID” was printed on laminated paper. Yikes. Embarrassing!
Security escorted him out while he yelled, “This isn’t over!” Unfortunately for him, his impending hangover was the only thing that wasn’t over. Bye-bye, Fake FBI!
The ‘I Know the Owner’ Liar
The best liars are those people who yell, “I knew the owner of this bar!” to bartenders who are clearly just doing their jobs. Funny enough, when they ask for the owner’s name…
ALL THEY HEARD WERE CRICKET NOISES. The customer freezing like a deer caught in headlights. They guessed three different wrong names, then insisted, “I meant the manager!”
The bartender, also the manager, smiled and replied, “Oh? What’s my name?” With no answer, the customer threw a fit before storming out. If you’re going to lie, at least do your research first.
The Champagne Sabotage
Let bartenders do things for you. Don’t be like this woman who insisted on opening her own bottle of champagne, dismissing warnings! Her confidence lasted until she launched the cork directly into a bartender’s forehead.
Instead of apologizing, she giggled and said, “Oops! That was fun.” (It certainly isn’t, Ma’am! You’re nothing but rude.) The bartender, nursing a lump, didn’t share the amusement.
She was cut off immediately, yet still tried ordering another bottle, convinced she had done nothing wrong. Delusion is a powerful thing.
The ‘Water Is For Weaklings’ Guy
Don’t underestimate the power of water, really. This customer learned his lesson after mocking his friend for ordering water, loudly declaring, “That’s only for the weak!”
After chugging his fifth drink, he confidently stood up—then immediately collapsed like a fallen Jenga tower. His legs simply gave up on life. Actually, his whole body gave up!
So, paramedics needed to respond. You know what they gave him.? WATER! Turns out, hydration isn’t so weak after all. You owe water an apology, pal.
The “What Beers Do You Have?” Guy
Yeah, asking obvious questions would surely annoy the bartender! This customer walks into a bar with 20 taps and asks, “What beers do you have?” as if the bartender has time to recite them all.
Instead of reading the clearly visible beer list, they expect a full rundown—and still ask for a Bud Light at the end. Rolls eyes. Some customers revel in the idea of wasting your time, I guess.
Want to avoid bartender side-eye? Read the menu. They’re not human beer encyclopedias, and they have better things to do.
The Disaster Double Date
Bartenders also witnessed romantic nights like this one double date that went sideways when one guy stood up and screamed mid-meal! The issue? His date had ordered the same drink as another man’s date.
He ranted about “drink originality” (yeah, he doesn’t want you copying his order) before storming outside, where he dramatically punched a parking meter. The meter won. His knuckles? Not so much.
His date left with the other couple, leaving him alone with his bruised ego and a hefty bar tab. Lesson: Drink choices aren’t a competition.
The Sauce Packet Scammer
Bartenders are like, “You can buy drinks but not ranch!?” because a male customer tried to steal sauce packets from the bar! We disagree that he was unaware; he really was stealing free condiments!
Later, he slipped and fell, crushing the stolen sauces in his pockets. He stood up, covered in ranch, looking like a walking disaster salad, or only if the word embarrassment could walk.
The bartender offered napkins but charged him for them. That was the most expensive free ranch dressing he ever had. Don’t ruin your self-image like that next time!
The Fridge Raider
If you’re not a bartender, then get off your hands from the bartender’s fridge! Don’t take this man as an example. He was too impatient to wait.
So, what happened was that he walked behind the bar and opened the fridge to grab his own beer. Bartenders were not amused by his behavior! Security arrived, but the customer insisted he was “just helping.”
Unfortunately for him, self-service bars don’t exist unless you actually work there. He was thrown out immediately, proving that sometimes, patience is cheaper than stupidity.
The Handshake Hustler
While it is heartwarming to appreciate your bartender’s service, maybe don’t get too obsessed with shaking their hands. Yes, it’s respectful, yet it could get weird if done often.
When ignored, this customer called the bartenders “rude,” despite their hands being busy making drinks. He sulked at the bar, clutching his untouched handshake. Come on, you’re not a kid anymore?!
Eventually, security shook his hand on the way out, ensuring it was the last one he got that night. Observe and be considerate to the bartenders, at least! Busy days exist.
The Last Call Crybaby
A man ignored the last call, then threw a fit when he was refused another drink. He argued that if he could still argue, then he wouldn’t be that drunk. He begged, pleaded, and even offered bribes!
Dude, let’s clear things up. If the last call’s a rule, then it’s not a mere suggestion. Yelling, “I can still argue!” doesn’t prove sobriety—it proves poor judgment!
Offering bribes like it’s Prohibition won’t extend your drinking rights either! Bars run on laws, not your charm offensive. Sadly, crying about liquor limits won’t rewrite state regulations.
Family Bonding Gone Wild
You’re not gonna believe this is another bartender-celebrity encounter! At Studio 54, a famous 1970s TV actor arrived with his entourage. Among them was his elderly Greek mother, fully dressed in traditional black attire, looking unimpressed.
Without hesitation, the actor dumped half an ounce of cocaine onto the bar! (Who in the right mind would do that?) His entire group, minus Grandma, immediately indulged like a normal night.
The bartender caught between disbelief and resignation, realized Studio 54’s reputation was well-earned. Watching a man party with his mom present was a new level of bizarre.
The Creepy Uncle Revelation
So, a female bartender in Des Moines dealt with a horrifyingly persistent customer. A disheveled man in his forties kept hitting on her, showering her with uncomfortable compliments. The story gets worse.
As security escorted him out, he confessed his attraction was because she looked like his 15-YEAR-OLD NIECE. Dude, that is your niece? What does that even mean? The entire bar recoiled in disgust!
She stared in shock, realizing she had just spent hours politely dodging a full-blown creep. Some people desperately need therapy and a permanent ban from bars!
The Home Bartender Know-It-All
One New York bartender has encountered the worst kind of customer—the self-proclaimed mixology expert. These people believe Google searches = bartending credentials.
The customer requested a “perfectly balanced” Negroni variation, insisting it needed seven ingredients. He even pulled out a recipe card (Seriously?) and tried directing the bartender like a reality show contestant.
When this bartender suggested ordering a regular drink, the customer scoffed. Instead, he ordered a vodka soda, proving that all his cocktail knowledge was only for show.
The Beer Shower Tantrum
In a West Village sports bar, a man became furious when denied free drinks. He insulted the waitress, calling her names that would make sailors blush.
The female bartender stepped in, demanding he leave immediately. Instead of acting rationally, the customer picked up a pitcher of beer and poured it over her head! Why do people like this exist?!
Before security arrived, the bartender stood there dripping in beer, fuming with rage. The only thing bruised worse than his ego was his ban status from the bar. We really hope you never come back!
The Unwanted History Lesson
Shortly after 9/11, a bartender in New Brunswick had to serve elderly war veterans who wanted to share their unsolicited, problematic opinions.
They dropped offensive WWII slurs, ranted about the world, and gave a full-blown racist history lesson while sipping whiskey. She smiled through clenched teeth.
By the end of their drinks, she wondered if selling her soul for tips was worth it. Some customers should come with a mute button option. That’s one way to achieve real-world peace!
The Credit Card Per Round Guy
If we were the bartender in this situation, we would get pissed off, too! This customer orders a drink, pays with a card, and then repeats the process every round! HELP!
This slows down service, wastes time, and makes the bartender quietly despise you. What’s wrong with opening a tab like a normal person?!
Opening a tab is faster, easier, and way more efficient. If you’re planning to order multiple drinks, just open a tab. Otherwise, prepare for bartenders to hate you with every unnecessary card swipe.
The Indecisive Drink Dabbler
You had 20 minutes standing in line to think about your order. Now that it’s your turn, why are you suddenly having a full existential crisis about choosing a drink?
After minutes of painful decision-making, they panic-order a vodka soda—something they could’ve chosen instantly. Meanwhile, the growing line of customers behind them contemplates mutiny.
Do everyone a favor: glance at the menu, pick something before reaching the counter, and order confidently. If you need suggestions, at least let us know what flavors you like.
The Overzealous Cash Waiver
Some customers love to wave their cash, but we’ll say waving cash in the air doesn’t make you important. It makes you look like you’re trying to flag down a helicopter.
Bartenders see you—they’re just ignoring you now. Remember, they have a system that they follow. Just because you’re aggressively waving a twenty doesn’t mean they’ll drop everything to serve you first.
If anything, you just became their last priority. Want to get served faster? Make eye contact, be patient, and wait your turn. That $20 won’t impress anyone if it’s accompanied by obnoxious behavior.
The Menu Modifier Extraordinaire
There are people who walk into a bar and act like they’re hosting a cooking show. “Can I get a mojito, but with gin instead of rum, no mint, extra lime, and in a martini glass?”
Newsflash: that’s not a mojito anymore. That’s a Frankenstein’s monster of a drink. If you need a drink so customized that it requires an instruction manual, just stay home.
Ordering simple modifications is fine. But completely reinventing a classic cocktail slows down service, confuses bartenders, and makes everyone behind you hate your existence.
The Wannabe Bartender
This customer claims they “know how to make better drinks” because they have a mini bar at home. (Then, why did you come?) They lean over the counter, giving unnecessary advice on how to stir properly.
Their drink knowledge comes from one YouTube video, yet they act like they’ve been tending bar for decades. Meanwhile, the bartender is trying not to roll their eyes.
Bartenders are professionals. If you want to play mixologist, stay home. If you’re at a bar, let the actual experts do their job.
The “Surprise Me” Customer
Of course, there are customers who think ordering a mystery drink is fun. But “Surprise me!” puts all the pressure on the bartender, who now has to guess your taste preferences.
Even worse? When they get their “surprise,” take a sip and say, “Ugh, I don’t like this.” Congrats, you just wasted everyone’s time.
If you want a custom drink, give a little direction: “I like whiskey and citrus, and it’s not too sweet.” That’s helpful. “Surprise me” is lazy nonsense.