Why I Stopped Waiting For My Child To Grow

The fact that I am writing this is a bit cliché.  So I figured what better way to begin than with a cliché saying.

If I had a dollar for every time I have said, “I can’t wait” during my baby’s first months, I would have enough money for him to go to the college of his choice (unless he were to get a scholarship, in which case I would have enough money for a really nice secluded beach vacation).

It starts at a young age. We are raised just waiting for the next bigger and better thing. We can’t wait until we are in middle school, high school then college. We can’t wait to find our better half. To buy a house. To have a big kid job. Then it happens. You’re an adult with an annoying alarm, work, bills, chores and errands. Then for a lot of people, you can’t wait for the next big thing… a family.

Fast forward to me, nine months pregnant and 35 delicious pounds heavier.  (Apparently I couldn’t wait for my next sweet treat either, because there was not a piece of chocolate that stood a chance around me.) There I was, telling everyone I “can’t wait” for our child to arrive.

He did. Right on time. And it began again. From day one I couldn’t wait for the next bigger and better thing. For that first smile, for him to gain control of his arms and stop punching himself in the face. For neck control so I didn’t lunge forward every time someone held him awkwardly, thinking he was going to break.

Daily, I catch myself letting those three dreaded words slip out of my mouth. Today it was a simple, “I can’t wait till you say mama.” It made me stop and question myself. Why was I already waiting for the next best thing when the best thing was right in front of me? I CAN wait for him to talk because he has plenty to say now, I just don’t understand it. I CAN wait for him to crawl because I can actually pee in private now, and it is so peaceful. I CAN wait for him to sleep all the way through the night because my early morning cuddle sessions are some of my absolute favorites.

I was harshly reminded that I need to stop trying to fast-forward because each tiny little milestone is worth celebrating. He has already taught me to slow down and live in the moment because “there is no time like the present.” Cliché…I know.