He is constantly demanding that I put my life on pause so that he can try to do all these things on his own and it takes FOREVER.
You know; all of the things that a mom has learned to do at lightning speed. It is not limited to buckling his car seat, opening the mail, throwing items into the trash can, feeding the cats, attempting to pour his own drinks, carrying the grocery items in the house (one by one), unloading the dishwasher and many other countless tasks.
It’s a constant struggle. On one hand it’s beyond amazing that he wants to be independent and helpful-isn’t that what we want as parents? On the other hand, it’s at the cost of my sanity and we know that you cannot put a price on a mom’s sanity.
A big part of being a Mom is mastering the art of multi-tasking. We designate a specific amount of time for a task before we have to move onto the next one. There is no room for error or idle time. Time management is how we survive and get it all done.
Today it took what felt like an eternity for my son to help me wrap presents for my husband’s birthday. He took out no less than 7 rolls of wrapping paper and flung them all over my freshly vacuumed living room floor. One of the rolls was covered in glitter. I wanted to cry. Whoever invented glitter needs to be taken to a deserted island and left there. Glitter is my arch nemesis. It gets all over the carpet, on my clothes and in my hair. I’m convinced it serves zero purpose except to drive me insane, as I sit here and pick it off my skin.
I was starting to sweat as I was assessing the mess that I was going to have to clean up after we finished wrapping.
I wish I was the mom who saw things like this as “fun” and a “creative” but really all I see is massive amounts of work.
I just wanted to wrap presents, in a timely manner.
Why is everything such an ordeal in my house? Oh that’s right, because I have a very headstrong 4 year-old who wants to do EVERY SINGLE THING on his own.
So we attempted to wrap the presents together. I tried to find joy in the moment, but I couldn’t help but glance over at the clock, repeatedly.
Every time we would get a present close to being wrapped he would accidentally rip the paper or the tape wouldn’t stick correctly. God forbid, there would be a wrinkle in the paper and a colossal meltdown would ensue.
“WE HAVE TO START OVER!!!” He would scream.
This happened no less than 12 times.
Wrap. Throw tantrum. Unwrap. Re-wrap.
FOR AN ENTIRE 45 MINUTES of my already busy life.
I wanted to climb the walls.
In fact, I was assessing the size of the boxes in hopes that maybe I could jump in one and mistakenly be wrapped.
When the torture came to an end and he finally got two presents wrapped perfectly, my son turned to me and said, “One day I will be able to do this super fast without starting over, just like you mommy”.
My heart dropped.
He was so right. How had I been missing what was right in front of me? These little moments that make me so frustrated are the moments that I’m forever going to long for once he is older. Suddenly, I was sitting on my living room floor, covered in glitter, bawling like a baby.
One day, I will miss the annoying times, where I’m waiting for him to finish an activity or do something “all by himself”. I will long for the moments where he was over the moon that he did something on his own for his first time. I will yearn for those moments-that will only be alive through pictures and faint memories.
They will be gone.
He will start to do everything fast and will no longer seek my approval and reassurance.
He will no longer need me.
He will no longer want the sound of my clapping when he puts together a puzzle for the first time. I will no longer hear the words, “look at me mommy” when he wants me to watch him pour his milk into his sippy-cup and make funny designs with the chocolate syrup. The words, “you can’t catch me” will be a faint memory throughout the house because he will no longer want to play hide and seek. I will no longer hear him whisper, “I’m over here” when he is buried under a massive pillow fort. He will not remind me every night, exactly 10 minutes before bed, that it’s time for prayers. He will no longer do our thing that we do where we say, “A hug and a kiss and a tickle and a hotdog”. He won’t make me promise that I will check on him at night to make sure the monsters don’t get him.
He simply won’t want me anymore.
Being a Mom is hard and exhausting. The redundancy of the demands and the “mommy watch me one more time” and “let me do it by myself” often make me want to pull my hair out. We are so busy with the daily grind and that we sometimes take moments like these for granted because let’s face it, we have other stuff to do.
Stuff that we deem more important at the time.
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The harsh reality is that one day he will be a grown man with his own family. His mom will no longer be “his person”. I will only be a phone call away but he will have a whole new set of firsts and memories to share with his own family.
There is only a short time in their lives where we are the only audience that they care about.
There is only a short time where we are put above everything and our opinion is considered gold.
I just need to keep reminding myself of this everyday and be still and find the beauty in all of the wasted time. The days are long but the memories are forever. Children are such a gift and sometimes we need to be reminded that this gift is only temporary.
