After moving out of your parents’ place, it’s easy to get used to having your freedom. Maybe your relationship with family has gotten stronger since you’ve moved out, or maybe it’s continued to be strained. In the final few weeks of the year, there’s an intense pressure to spend it with family. And for those of us who might not get along with our family members, the end of the year can be an anxiety-inducing time.
Oftentimes we’ll suck it up for the sake of family obligation and ignore our own happiness. Surviving the holiday season with your family is possible. Although, you might have to do some planning ahead of time. Before making the trip home, take the time to acknowledge where the problem areas are in your familial relationships. Take a moment to review the following seven tips before the upcoming holiday season. Your brain and emotional stability will thank you for it.
Prepare for your trip home.
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Maybe you’ve moved out and live far away from the rest of your family, so that means either a flight or long road trip is ahead of you. Traveling during the holidays is never easy. What do you do if you get to the airport early to accommodate long security lines, only to find it took you 15 minutes to get through and you now have three hours until your flight boards?
Come prepared with something to make those long hours fly by. Your phone battery and data is precious while traveling — that’s why the portable Nintendo Switch Lite is an airport must-have. Pair it with fun games like Mario Kart 8 or Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Backup phone chargers and portable batteries are important to travel with in case there’s any unexpected delays.
It’s also easy to become dehydrated while traveling. If you’re traveling via plane, pack a reusable water bottle and fill it up with fountain water after you get through security. Don’t pay $7 for a small plastic bottle!
Schedule “me time.”
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After moving out of your parent’s house, it’s easy to get used to having the freedom to do what you want, when you want. But if you have strict parents, they might try to enforce their house rules on you whenever you’re visiting. If that’s the case and you find yourself at 24 and stuck with a 10:30 p.m. curfew, make the most out of your “you time.”
Spend your “you time” however you like. Roll out the yoga mat and an essential oil diffuser for a quiet moment of meditation and stretching. It can help reduce your stress and clear your mind if being home with family brings anxiety and tension into your life. Jamming out to energetic music with some wireless Bluetooth headphones, painting on canvas, binge-watching your favorite series on an Amazon Fire Stick, and drinking tea in a fun Bob Ross mug can also help.
Find group activities to avoid any awkward and forced conversations.
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Nothing makes being forced to spend time with family more fun than stealing all of their money and properties in a game of Monopoly. Instead of all retreating to your separate spaces to be on your phones, try getting together for a wholesome family game night. This can be either board and card games or video games.
If traditional is more everyone’s speed, some classics that are sure to bring out the laughs and competition are The Voting Game, Codenames, Clue, Uno, and Pictionary.
For those who love video games, the Nintendo Switch has several multiplayer games for everyone to get in on. Mario Party is always a classic go-to party game. For more of a collaborative vibe, play the New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe. Just be sure to grab a few extra controllers so everyone can join in!
Set boundaries.
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Setting boundaries can be difficult to do, especially if you struggle with confrontation. But in the long-run, setting that clear boundary up front will make your time at home far less stressful. Address whomever it is with a calm, but firm, tone and use “I” statements when setting that boundary.
Turn to some self-help books so you can feel prepared and empowered for cutting those ties with toxic people. The book But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath can help you understand the differences between a healthy family with the occasional drama and one that’s toxic and harmful.
Don’t turn to alcohol when a relative tries to pick a fight.
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Alcohol and family parties are always a recipe for disaster. The mental filters are gone and the next thing you realize is that one nosy aunt is drilling you with a million personal questions, or the one creepy uncle is being a little too weird and it’s only 2 p.m.
Give your hands something to focus on by squeezing either a small stress ball or some aroma-scented putty. Don’t be afraid to cut yourself off early, but still feel like you’re a part of the fun by drinking out of an insulated tumbler cup. No one needs to know you just have ice and ginger ale in there!
Practice some well-deserved self-care after the festivities.
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Who doesn’t love a good self-care routine? Don’t fall out of the habit even when you’re not in your normal environment. A hot bath can do a world of wonders for stress and anxiety. Allow yourself the moment of free time away from your phone and family members. Close the door, light some candles, pour in some soothing Epsom salts or moisturizing bubble bath, pull your hair back with a microfiber headband, and brush on a mud mask.
Take that time to go through your entire hygiene routine that you don’t normally have the energy to fully do, whether that be shaving your legs, trimming your nails and cuticles, plucking your eyebrows, or doing a hair mask.
If self-pampering isn’t your jam, look into some self-care books to get the ideas rolling. This Self-Care for Introverts guide provides several options for those of us whose social batteries run out too quickly, especially after a busy holiday season.
Don’t feel obligated to go home if it’s not right for you.
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There’s an unspoken expectation that you must be together with family during the holidays. But if you find yourself leaving family get-togethers feeling awful and rundown, then it’s probably a smart move to celebrate the holidays separately. It won’t necessarily be an easy conversation to have, but it will be better for you in the long-run — and that’s ultimately what matters.
Find ways to keep yourself busy so you don’t fall into a guilt trap. Make plans to celebrate by yourself or find friends’ holiday parties that you can crash. If being alone is your only option, take advantage of that time by watching some feel-good movies like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, 13 Going on 30, Lilo & Stitch, Clueless, or Call Me By Your Name. If staying cooped up in your apartment is too much, try looking up volunteering opportunities in your area.
Staying home doesn’t mean you have to skip out on the fun holiday decorations. String up some twinkly fairy lights, put up a small Christmas tree, and light some cozy winter-scented candles.
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