How to Have a Healthy Social Life When You’re Broke

Having a healthy social life is part of our M.O. as humans. Without it, we can feel lonely, develop poor self-esteem, and have a decreased sense of empathy. Unfortunately, though, hanging out with friends can cost a pretty penny. Between going out to bars, concerts, or simply catching up with a cup of coffee, our minimal spending can add up, especially when our bank account is nearing zero. But why do we continue to go out with friends when our wallets beg us not to?

According to a Forbes article, people from Gen Y claim that they’re afraid of missing out. If they say no, they believe they’ll be “excluded from future activities, [feel] like an outsider, [lose] friends and [be] judged.” While this might just pertain to Gen Y, older generations also admitted to feeling out of touch with their inner social circle when they’re not able to attend social outings. And, frankly, this sucks. No one wants to feel left out, but we shouldn’t feel forced to spend money to maintain healthy friendships.

Luckily, there’s a way around this. Nowadays, there are so many free ways you can get together with your besties without having to dig deep into your pockets. Try hanging out at the park or going to a free museum. Scroll below to see all the ways you can have a social life when funds are low.

1. Explain your financial situation.

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Money talks.

You might not want to talk about your financial worries with your close friends. But it’s important to be transparent with them so they don’t just assume that you’re flaking. Good friends will understand. And the ones who decide to shame you for not meeting their expectations are not worth keeping around. According to a Forbes article, a candid conversation about money with your friends will help alleviate FOMO (fear of missing out) and might even be a great way to grow closer with them.

2. Suggest an alternative way to hang out.

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Just because you can’t go out to dinner, doesn’t mean you don’t want to get together.

Instead of not going out with your friends, you can suggest another way to hang out without having to spend a dollar. Just be authentic with your suggestion. Megan Ford, a financial therapist at the University of Georgia, says in an article by The Cut:

When you do suggest an alternative, make sure that you really mean it. Don’t just use it as an excuse. It’s important to be thoughtful and not just try to get people off of your back.

3. Ask your friends to do a spending fast with you.

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No money, no problems.

If you’re comfortable sharing your financial situation with your friends, then they’re probably down to do a spending fast with you as well. You and your group of friends can choose to hide your bank cards for a few weekends out of the month and come up with creative ways to hang out together. You never know — if this works out, you guys might continue the trend for future hangouts.

4. Be strategic about when and how often you hang out.

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Just because your friends have the means to go out every weekend, doesn’t mean you have to attend every outing.

Plan out exactly how often you can go out and how much you can spend at the beginning of the month, and stick to those rules. Your friends will understand if you’re honest and tactful about it. This will remove some of the pressure you’ll feel because your friends will already understand where you’re coming from.

5. Be honest about your goals.

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Trust that they’ll understand.

Sometimes you’re not able to spend a lot of money because you want to save it for a nice vacation or a downpayment on a house. Whatever your reason, you can explain this to your friends the next time they want to invite you out. According to  Forbes, most people will understand the importance of your goal and oblige with your request. Not only will this get you closer to your goal, but will help you save money in the long run.

6. Invite your friends to your house.

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Want a surefire way to avoid spending money? Have a gathering in your home.

Not only will this make your bank account extremely happy, but you’ll be able to control the environment any way you want. Want to throw a dance party? Awesome! How about watching classic movies together? Whatever you decide to do, you’ll be able to connect with your friends on a more intimate level without having to travel anywhere.

7. Make minor lifestyle adjustments.

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Your bank will thank you.

Let’s say it’s been a hot minute since you’ve last hung out with your friends, but your bank account is on empty. Opt to make a few minor lifestyles adjustments so you don’t have to sacrifice your time with them. According to Yahoo, one of the ways you can do this is by eating beforehand or pre-gaming at your house (and taking a car service to the meet-up location) to save a little cash on your end. This way you can still make wonderful memories with your friends without spending a dime.

8. Meet up with your friends after the event.

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Quality time is important after all.

Yes, it might suck that you’re not able to go to the event, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy quality time with your besties. Instead of sitting at home, you can meet up with them at one of their houses to hear how the event went. This way you can still connect one-on-one with your friends without feeling like you’re missing out completely.

9. Take control of your friend hangouts.

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Not every hangout has to be a lavish affair.

Sometimes we feel pressured to do things because our friends are making the calls. But instead of letting your friends determine what to do, opt to take the reins and suggest a low-key outing instead. You can plan to attend a free summer movie or concert or stop by a free yoga class or book club. Planning the hangout will allow you to feel more in control of your finances and less worried about trying to make ends meet.

10. Remember that your self-worth doesn’t equate to your net worth.

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You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

While you may have a lot in common with your friends, they might’ve grown up in different financial situations. That’s completely okay. But that doesn’t mean that you’re doing worse than them. According to a Deadspin article, people might take “extra pride in how hard they work, thinking what they spend should reflect what they have been able to achieve in financial success.” This might work for them, but don’t resent them for their lifestyle. Instead, it’s important to emotionally celebrate their wins, just like how you would want them to celebrate yours.

11. Don’t be afraid to stick to your values.

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What matters the most to you?

At the end of the day, your values should be front and center when it comes to making a decision about money, according to an article on KTVB. And being aware of what your values are will help you understand where you should budge and where you shouldn’t for your friends.

12. Opt to be the designated driver.

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Safety is everything.

While this might not sound as fun as drinking the night away with your buddies, being the designated driver will help you save money and keep you from experiencing a nasty hangover the next day. Plus, you get to tell the crew all the crazy stories they might not remember. So, it’s basically a win-win.

13. Volunteer together.

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Give when you can’t spend.

Another great way to spend quality time with your besties is by finding an organization you both care about and volunteering your time to help others in need. According to MarketWatch, you can “sign up for an opportunity that takes place every week or month” to continue the tradition if it becomes something you and your friends love doing.

14. Look for discounts.

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Who wants to pay full price, anyway?

Instead of worrying that you’ll never get to hang out with your friends again, try to find out how you can still do the things you want to do with them but at a discount. For instance, most movie theaters have certain days when they sell tickets for half-price. Or, you can go bowling when bowling shoes are free to rent.

15. Be mindful of future events.

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Choose your battles wisely.

Even though it would suck not to see a certain superhero movie with your friends now, it might be better to save your money for a friend’s wedding in a couple of months. According to Forbes, if you decide to take a step back from spending money with your friends, it’ll just put you in a more financially stable place for future events. You might not be able to go every outing, but you can be there for the really special moments.