Could A Mattress’s Size Affect Your Relationship?

To King or to Queen? That is the question. King or queen-sized mattress, that is. There isn’t a one-size answer that fits all. Every relationship varies. And that’s because every partner has a preference, and the ultimate choice must come from an agreement between the couple. Though a mattress might seem simple in theory, a lot of factors go into finding the perfect pick that will keep everyone happy (and sleeping soundly). Plus — a lot goes into the purchase besides preference (for instance, cost or living space).  But we wondered: What’s better for a relationship, a king or queen-sized bed?

There are benefits to a queen bed.

Jaime Greene, a therapist and coach who’s worked with celebrities such as Brad Womack from Season 15 of The Bachelor, tells Blossom, “A queen-size mattress creates more intimacy because you have to be touching. The chances are, you will cuddle. Therefore you’ll have a deeper connection while sharing the bed versus a king size.”

The closenesses between a couple in bed creates a nurturing bond, which has the power to relieve you of your daily stress and allows your relationship to blossom (we couldn’t help ourselves). Life sometimes gets in the way and makes it a little more difficult to snuggle up with your loved one on a daily basis. A queen-size mattress would physically bring you and your partner closer.

But again, it depends on the couple. Some may enjoy the closeness. Some may need space of a king-size bed.

Rinat Amir, a licensed MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist) for over 40 years, states, “A queen-sized bed is too crowded. A king size allows you to have the balance of both touch & space. Physical touch is extremely crucial but, so is space.”

Sharon Cook, a manager at Snoozzz Organics,  has experienced a broad range of customers. Sharon tells Blossom, “A mattress size is always based on personal preference. Young couples tend to lean towards purchasing a queen-sized mattress due to lack of space. However, couples with kids are more likely to purchase a king-sized mattress due to their need of increased space.”

Let’s take a look at actual mattress measurements to get one step closer into making this critical, emotional, and mental lifestyle choice. A queen-size mattress is 60″(width) x 80″(length). A king-size mattress is 76″(width) x 80″(length). The average man is 18″(width) x 70″(length). The average woman is 14″(width) x 63″(length).

Do the math.. you did it, good. Yes, a queen-size mattress will leave you with a tease of room to spare. And yes, a king-size mattress will allow you to take up more space.

According to Dalit Argil, a singer/songwriter who’s been married for 14 years, “A king size bed allows a couple to have a choice. You choose if you want to be close or have some space. Having a choice allows a couple to become more whole within themselves. In the beginning couples prefer the closenesses. Although as the years go by and the couple grows, they tend to value the extra space.”

Having the feeling of freedom while being monogamous is a key factor in relationship growth. If the couple is in a healthy, trusting, and supportive relationship, the freedom only allows the couple to grow more together while remaining true to themselves.

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Age can be a factor in the decision-making process, too.

Avi Ishaaya, a physician for almost 30 years specializing in sleep medicine, tells us, “Sleep deteriorates with age. We lose a fair amount of deep sleep, causing our sleep to become much lighter and more easily interrupted. As we grow older, we find ourselves sleeping less hours. Therefore, our quality of sleep is worse. The mattress you choose makes a difference! If the mattress is uncomfortable you will find yourself [waking up more frequently] during the night. We tend to have five to 15 arousals per hour due to shift changes in our sleep stages, and the arousals increase as a result from a poor quality mattress creating negative feedback which causes less sleep. We become more sensitive to our external environment including your other half, so… the bigger the bed, the better it is!”

As we grow, our physical & medical need for a more suitable mattress that fits our bodies requirements are necessary in order to maintain a healthy growth. Good sleep increases our sharpness. Therefore a high quality mattress with specific benefits is mandatory as our age increases!

Let’s not forget about budget and space.

Like we mentioned before, sometimes it doesn’t matter what kind of mattress you want—it matters what your lifestyle is able to accommodate. If you don’t have the space for a king (or a queen, for that matter), then that will impact your choice. The same goes for budget: Bigger mattresses usually cost more to purchase.

But the question is: Are you harming your relationship by not getting a bigger bed? Or are you strengthening it?

Life is broken up into a series of chapters, and each one is forever evolving. If that chapter includes a new relationship, job, or house, that impacts our reality. The majority of couples tend to begin adulting with less space and money, and may go for a queen-size bed (or smaller), either out of necessity, or maybe they just prefer the intimacy it creates.  As we grow, our space, money, and quantity of people in the household increases. Or maybe it doesn’t. You have to figure out, as a couple, what your needs are and whether you can accommodate them. If that includes a big bed, then you do what feels good, but there’s no right or wrong answer.