Don’t Be a Basic Witch, 61 Instagram-Worthy Halloween Captions
Finding the right words to sound cheeky to your crush, clever to your friends, but still PG-13 for your relatives that suddenly follow your every move online can be a nightmare. Whether you love it or hate it, Halloween is a night of adventure. It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting on your couch in a candy coma watching scary movies or hitting up a bunch of costume parties, you and your devilish crew will be documenting your experiences over social media.
I mean, it’s only once a year you get to dress up as whatever you want and strangers just give you enough candy to last an entire year. To quote Cady Heron from the iconic film Mean Girls, “In girl world, Halloween is the one night of the year, where you can dress like a slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
So, sit back, scroll down, and enjoy the sugar rush, as you read through our best caption suggestions. There’s something special on this list for every ghoul and witch out there, so your followers are bound to be jealous they didn’t come up with one of these first!
They’re all spooktacular, we promise.
We’re not ready to let go of the phrase hot girl summer, so we’ve evolved it to fit at least one more occasion. Don’t think about it too hard, this should be the go-to group shot caption.
2. 100 percent that witch
I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% using this caption.
3. Not today, Satan
The devil works hard, but trick-or-treaters work harder, am I right? When you’re channeling the dark side, sometimes you’ve got to lighten the look with a little pun.
4. Trick or Treat Yo’self
Listen, we’re all about self-care. For some people that’s scaring the sh*t out of their friends, for others it’s all about the candy.
5. “Brrr… it’s cold in here. There must be some spirits in the atmosphere!”
A spooky twist on the iconic cheer from the comedy Bring It On.
6. I’m 99 percent angel, but oh, that one percent…
We’ve got endless ideas if you want to trade in your wings for the night. Listen to “Unholy” by Miley Cyrus and tap into your devilish side.
7. “Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eye.”
Don’t fight me on this, Taylor Swift is a lyrical genius. These lyrics could cut glass. If you’re not yet familiar with the song “Cruel Summer” Swift paints the picture of an emotional night out, which anyone who has cried in the back of an Uber can relate to.
8. Haunting my exes
I’m not going to tell you how to run your Instagram account, but PLEASE post this caption under your most fire picture of the evening. We all know, ghosts exist. They typically appear in your DMs after you’ve blocked their number and have forgotten their existence.
9. Let’s Give ’em Pumpkin to Talk About
Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson confirmed their relationship by taking to Instagram wearing matching Harry Potter robes, last year. If you’ve been waiting for the right time to go Instagram official, here’s the way to do it.
10. I don’t know what I’m booing
We’d say this is a mantra for students, but the whole “I have no idea what I’m doing” thing pretty much sums up what it feels like to be twenty-something.
11. I’m the bad ghoul
We think the spooky remix on Billie Eilish’s song “Bad Guy” would go a little like this:
“So you’re a tough ghoul
Like it really rough ghoul
Just can’t get enough ghoul
Chest always so puffed ghoul.”
12. There’s a new cat on the block
If you’re joining the kitty costume committee, you better commit to a purrfect pun, like this one. Now, go enjoy your nine lives in peace.
13. It’s safe to say that I am totally feline myself
A cat costume is pretty badass, whether you’re channeling Catwoman or the Cheshire Cat. You should totally be feeling your fierce self.
14. Ghouls Just Want to Have Fun
Make it a hashtag and tag your girl gang/ squad/ strange new friends with this one.
15. You better work, witch
Great caption if you’re a witch… or channeling Britney Spears.
16. Straight Outta Coffin
Straight out of the coffin and into the afterlife… we’ll see if people get the reference.
17. I’m just here for the boos
Hey, sometimes you’re looking for a handsome devil, sometimes just a little booze will do.
18. Sorry for what I said when I wasn’t wearing my wings
Halloween is quite literally the night most of take off our angel wings and get a little fiery. This apology is the hilarious way of saying, “Sorry for what I said when I was drunk.”
19. Stranger Things have happened….
This caption is an 11/10. If you don’t get that, please don’t speak to me for the rest of the season.
20. Having a bloody good time
Whether your makeup is dripping down your face, or you’re dressed as a vampire, this joke is killer.
21. Too cute to spook
Can’t help that you’re absolutely adorable? I can see all the influencers pouncing on this cheeky one-liner…or a pack of adorable kids, like the family above.
22. Swish, swish, witch
It’s like Katy Perry was summoning up the underworld in the next part of the chorus, “Another one in the casket.”
23. Killin’ it
If you’re covered in blood… or holding a fake knife… or are dressed as a famous bad guy, you most definitely have killed it.
24. Extreme makeover…spooky edition.
If you’re undergoing a major transformation, you should be calling attention to it!
25. Bad to the bone.
I hope you found that humerus…come on, we’re just trying to hit you in the funny bone!
26. Do you, boo.
Maybe this is more of a subtweet…but if the guy or girl who’s ghosting you can’t stop looking at all your Instagram stories, this might be the scare he needs.
27. Resting Wizard Face
Harry Potter stans, this is for you.
28. Creep it Real
Just because you’re dressed as a completely different person doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself.
29. Drink Up, Witches
30. Wicked Awesome Friends
This works if you’re Elphie, Glinda, or just have some pretty wicked awesome friends.
31. A Nightmare Before Coffee
Nothing is spookier than being under caffeinated.
32. I can’t be held responsible for stolen candy.
RIP to my diet.
33. I’m a haunt mess.
The haunt mess express is for all the witches whose broomsticks broke down.
34. I like my coffee with a little scream and sugar.
Obviously we’re big fans of fall and an afternoon pick-me-up.
35. Drop dead gourd-geous
If you’re posing in a patch full of pumpkins, this is the perfect caption.
36. Trick or tequila
When you’re over 21 you shouldn’t be going house to house for candy, so just go party to party for shots.
37. Yes, I Can Drive Stick
October 31 is the day all witches can show off their sweet rides.
38. You make me batty.
Nothing wrong with something super sweet.
39. Shake your BOOty
If you’re going to be taking the dance floor by storm…
40. Double, double toil and trouble!
This classic caption is great for a photo with your ride or die.
41. Keep calm and scare on.
…I mean if you plan on being this scary.
42. This witch likes wine.
43. I’m the ghost-ess with the moistest
When you’re hosting an epic party, pat yourself on the back!
44. Who run the world? Ghouls
Or in this case, Pilates instructors.
45. Boo Felicia
*famous last words*
46. Fright Night
Perfect for after a haunted house or horror nights with friends.
47. Demons are a ghouls best friend
Who needs diamonds, when you’ve got ghouls like these?
48. Howl about them apples?
When the whole fam or squad shows up looking this good.
49. Let the gourd times roll
October is all about good times.
50. Witch Better Have My Candy
Candy is what we came for.
51. The Pumpkin to My Spice
xoxoxo, your favorite couple.
52. Go big or gourd home
Whether you’re going all out with decorating, your DIY costume, or carving a pumpkin give it your best effort.
53. Boo Crew
Boo! You and your friends should we spending the whole week in Halloween mode, not just 24 hours.
54. Too ghoul for school
I’m taking a sick day.
55. Let’s do the Monster Mash!
It was a graveyard smash!
56. Spooky Squad
Ugh, perfect for a group costume.
57. If I was a Spice Girl, I would be pumpkin spice
58. Fangs for the memories
59. You either love spooky season, or you’re wrong.
You can post this one all month long.
60. I had to switch to de-coffin-ated lattes
You’re welcome, vampires. It can be a real pain in the neck coming up with an original pumpkin spice latte caption, that hasn’t been done to death.
61. There’s only 365 days left ’til next Halloween…
Sometimes you’ve got to quote The Nightmare Before Christmas and start the countdown all over again.
‘Twas a good time, am I right? If someone wants to ask you why you love Halloween so much more than any of the other holidays explain to them: you don’t have to buy gifts, you;re not obligated to visit relatives, and people give you candy for absolutely no reason.