This “129 Ways to Get a Husband” Article From 1958 Will Make You Want To Hide

Ah, the 1950s. The Cold War, sexism, and racism in America were raging on. Women were in the home and men were clinking whiskey glasses in the board room, having just come up with the next big thing in advertising. It was a simpler time. However, it obviously wasn’t simple to hook a guy. In fact, this 1958 article entitled “129 Ways to Get a Husband” helped women do the one thing that was expected of them — find a man. If your skin isn’t crawling yet, just you wait.

The piece starts with this incredibly vague introduction: “A panel of sixteen experts, using a technique that has inspired thousands of bright business ideas, tried it on love and marriage, and came up with…129 ways to get a husband.” It then moves on to presume that of the 16 million American women above the age of 17 who are unmarried, all of them want to be married. Luckily, McCall’s and its “brainstorming” technique is here to help.

Kim Marx-Kuczynski from Wisconsin bought the vintage magazine with high hopes of it containing some cringey material, “and it did not disappoint,” Marx-Kuczynski wrote on Facebook. She posted the entire “129 Ways” article on October 9th, and it has since been shared over 14,000 times.

“The whole list is littered with WTF but my personal favorite (#40) has had me randomly busting into laughing fits since I read it three days ago,” Marx-Kuczynski wrote.

If you’re wondering, the #40 tip reads, “Stand in a corner and cry softly. Chances are good that he’ll come over to find out what’s wrong.” Uh — tried it. Doesn’t work!

[fm_facebook url=”https://www.facebook.com/kim.marxkuczynski/posts/2146971265314053″]

[facebook_ia_ad_tag adid=”1″]

Other top tips to snag a hubby include, “become a nurse or an air-line stewardess — they have very high marriage rates,” “read the obituaries to find eligible widowers,” and, our personal favorite, “get lost at football games.”

But say you have found your target and now want to woo him. What ever shall you do? Try wearing a Band-Aid — “People always ask what happened.” Stumble while entering the room he’s in. Or, “buy a convertible. Men like to ride in them.” Too true, McCall’s. Too true.

[fm_giphy url=”https://media.giphy.com/media/3hzl20rM1dfuo/giphy.gif”]

Okay, girl, you’ve made it to the finish line. Here’s how to “land him.” If he’s a “wolf,” turn him into husband material by simply “assuming [he has] honor,” McCall’s suggests. Always tell your parents to get lost while you’re entertaining your future beau and for the love of god, don’t whine, get a sunburn, bring up marriage, kids, or your former boyfriends, and never tell any “dirty stories.”

McCall’s even included a couple of wild card options like “go to Yale,” or “carry a tow chain in the back of your automobile.” Nice!

[fm_giphy url=”https://media.giphy.com/media/O2OH604LR1Wfe/giphy.gif”]

[facebook_ia_ad_tag adid=”2″]

We certainly hope all you ladies learned a lot. Stay slim, stay quiet about your allergies, and laugh at all his jokes. You’ll surely snag a husband in no time.