15 Former Long-Term Prisoners Share What Shocked Them Most About Returning To Modern Society

We frequently consider the adjustment someone might have to go through should they be imprisoned, but rarely do we wonder how it must feel to experience a changed world after incarceration. Reading about what shocked long-term prisoners most upon their release from jail really puts into perspective all the little things we take for granted.

In particular, the digital revolution, which has completely changed the world over the past twenty years, doesn’t exist inside of prison. People who are released from long-term incarceration undergo a crash course in smartphones, apps, texting, and even the advent of social media.

Could a long-term prisoner even begin to imagine what a Facebook page looks like? Or how to invite friends to an event without having to call or send letters?

Although a growing number of the Earth’s population has never had to do either of those things, some prisoners aren’t privy to the technological developments making calling and mailing obsolete. It can be a culture shock for freed people who have never experienced the devices and means of communication we use today.

But technology isn’t all that blew these newly released prisoners away — from using the bathroom without permission to feeling the soft texture of carpet beneath their toes, Redditors shared their experiences either after having gotten out of jail or when interacting with someone who was just released. It makes you realize just how drastically the world can change in a relatively small amount of time.

1. All The Little Technological Conveniences We Take For Granted Today Are Baffling

Orange is the New Black would have us believe cell phones are plentiful in prisons, but maybe not.

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The internet barely existed in 1999 when this person became incarcerated. He didn’t experience MySpace bulletins, sketchy Limewire downloads, AIM icons—the list goes on. Early technology primed as for and led us slowly into the kind of devices we use today. Being dropped into the middle of their development must have been a challenge.

2. It’s Probably For The Best That There Isn’t Carpet In Prison

Truthfully, it’d probably be best if there weren’t carpet anywhere.

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As the design world moves toward hardwood floors, we rejoice. But you’ve got to admit — sometimes carpet is nice! It’s soft and reminds us of our grandma’s house or maybe the school library. It makes sense that after not feeling carpet for two decades, soft flooring must feel foreign but cozy.

3. No Smoking!

Just wait ’til he asks to be seated in the smoking section at Outback Steakhouse.

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While it’s beneficial to the public’s health to ban smoking inside of public places, it’s got to be pretty disappointing for a former smoker who went to prison. Two decades ago — back in olden times — you could light up just about anywhere. But these days, there are limitation  laws and federal regulations, thanks to research into the effects of second-hand smoke.

4. Actually, Don’t Tell Him Just Yet

Note: fanny packs are back in style!

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This Redditor’s uncle should definitely be informed of the fanny pack’s recent history. But if this former prisoner is missing fanny packs, take him to an Urban Outfitters. As much as we appreciate the sentiment that fanny packs went out of style, hang out with some teens who wear tiny sunglasses and it’s plain to see that the pack is back.

5. People Adapt Quickly

Wow, he’s right. It is annoying you can’t just text your order to Hungry Howies.

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To order a pizza on your phone, you’d probably have to download an app. What’s worse, if you ordered it online, you’d have to open your laptop and navigate to the company’s website. Yuck! This former prisoner is absolutely right that with today’s continuous technological advances, we should be able to send a simple text to our good friend Howie.

6. There Is One Blockbuster Left

But if Blockbuster couldn’t survive, neither could its competitors.

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We have more content at our fingertips than ever before. We can log on to any number of streaming services and enjoy hundreds of TV shows and films instantly. It must be shocking to prisoners who were jailed during the era of VCRs and DVDs. But honestly, thank god we no longer have to leave our homes to watch a movie. How plebeian!

7. He Just Wanted To Order His Stuffed Pretzels From A Real Person

He will someday learn to appreciate that touch screen ordering minimizes the shame.

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What this former prisoner hasn’t yet realized is that you can order as many mozzarella sticks as you’d please on the touch screens without facing the potential of human judgment. The Wawa touch screens will never judge you for your indulgence, and that’s a beautiful thing. Let’s please not question technology when it’s used for good.

8. He Wants Portrait Mode, Okay?

I mean, the retina display is just going to be a lot sharper.

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The camera is going to be a lot better, the battery life will be longer, and it’ll unlock by reading your mind! Just because you’re not familiar with the iPhone doesn’t mean you can’t see that the next version is going to be even sicker than the current version. Here’s to splurging on that latest model.

9. He’s Right—We Should Bring Roller Rinks Back

Never fear, ice skating isn’t dead.

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Rollerblading was good stuff in the ’80s and ’90s. But this pastime has been replaced by skateboards, longboards, and Heely’s, oh my! With so many other ways to put wheels on your feet, roller rinks are facing trouble in today’s America. But feet blades, or ice skates as they’re sometimes called, will always have their place in holiday festivities, the Olympics, and movies that teach lessons about friendship to tweens.

10. Dads Have To Adjust For Inflation, Too

Shirts should be $1, and I think that’s something we can all agree on.

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This formerly incarcerated dad has the right idea — clothing is too expensive and we should be able to negotiate the price down. Unfortunately, that’s just not how things work. If you want a cheap shirt, you have to hit up the Target 70% off section to forage through the clearance scraps. It’s a rough life.

11. In All Fairness, This Is Probably A Common Virtual Reality Experience

You never know what might happen when you give a second-degree murderer a VR headset.

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Virtual reality is exciting but scary. For instance, it could open up new possibilities in the gaming industry, but it could also trap its users inside of whatever world they enter, according to sci-fi movies. This technology is in its early stages, but that doesn’t mean it’s not advanced enough to scare a former prisoner so much he falls over.

12. We Have Also Cried In A Walmart Bathroom, But For Different Reasons

Don’t even get me started on the Target bathrooms.

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Sure, we’ve all cried in the bathroom. But when you’re crying because you regained the human right to be in control of your bodily functions, you’ve really earned it. Let’s hope that men’s bathrooms are like women’s bathrooms when someone is crying in a stall, meaning someone tentatively calls out, “Are you okay?” and then offered to bring some water.

13. You Can Play Air Guitar To Whatever Song Your Heart Desires

But make sure someone tells him Glee absolutely ruined Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

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The late-aughts! They’re magical! We can listen to any song or artist at any time with just a few taps on a phone screen. Even iPods, once seen as the pinnacle of 2000’s technology, don’t hold a candle to the sheer volume of music Spotify and other streaming services have made available.

14. Postmates Is Actually Perfect For Those Under House Arrest

A Postmate? No thanks, I’m not interested in a penpal right now.

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Okay, let it be known that Chinese restaurants were ahead of the game by offering delivery. The pizza industry had an important role in delivery culture as well. But Postmates took it above and beyond. No wonder this former prisoner is shocked at the advent of this app.

And regarding the Redditor’s edit: to each their own, we suppose.

15. In 2019, Sir, Your Poop Just Magically Disappears

Few crazier things have happened.

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For those of us who grew up with automatically flushing toilets, they’re not even really considered a luxury anymore. You’d be just as likely to spot a self-flushing toilet at a Chili’s as you would at the MOMA. But for someone who has never seen an automatic toilet, that’s got to be a big shock. The only downside is that if it flushes too soon, you might get a gross little spritz of toilet water on your bum.