Getting married is hard work. And even if you plan carefully and get your ducks in a row, your wedding could go horribly wrong. The food could be bad; the weather may not cooperate. Someone could even die during the ceremony. Despite certain couples’ best intentions, they put on weddings that turned out so horrible people complained about them on Reddit.
Indeed, the wedding industry changed considerably in recent years with the advent of social media. Pinterest popularized the idea of having a rustic wedding decorated with DIY ornamentation. But this doesn’t always work out. Hosting a wedding in an old barn, for instance, comes with its own set of problems. Wedding planning professionals can help foresee some potential issues and prevent major wedding fails. Even a bad bachelorette party can ruin a wedding, though.
While an overbearing bride can certainly tarnish an otherwise beautiful ceremony, there are a whole host of other details that could make things go south. Although these terrible weddings might make you cringe, the lessons can help with your own ceremony. Above all else, remember the following: the weather is not your friend, limit the speeches, and don’t make your guests perform chores.
1. A Wedding Fit For A 19th Century Romance Novel
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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I now pronounce you Heathcliff and Catherine.
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A castle? Check. High winds? Check. Gloom and rain? Check. If this wedding took place in a 19th-century novel, it’d be doomed. For instance, the bride might regret not marrying the man she truly loves (who, of course, is in a lower social strata). We can only hope the weather wasn’t a metaphor in this case, though.
2. Hours And Hours Of Speeches
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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Weddings are all about incessant talking.
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You get a speech, and you get a speech, you get a speech! Everyone wants their loved ones to say kind things about them. But it’s always best to limit the compliments to perhaps the parents, your nicest sibling, or maybe that favorite aunt who just gets you. Then it’s time to bring out the booze and party.
3. A Death On The Dance Floor
From Redditor /u/MoreCowbellllll:
The bride’s aunt died on the dance floor while dancing… She fell down, and the DJ stopped the music until EMS arrived. They took her away, and when the music resumed, the DJ selected Bryan Adams’s “Heaven” as the next song. I still remember the “WTF dude” look people were giving him.
One Wedding and a Funeral, the sad sequel
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Losing an aunt at a wedding is a traumatic experience for the bride and groom. But at least they can rest assured she died having fun. And we suppose if you’re going to see one last thing before you pass, a loved one getting married is a nice, happy memory to go out on.
4. Did You Do Your Wedding Reading?
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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If there’s a pop quiz, we’re screwed.
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Being involved in a book club is definitely fun! That is, if you voluntarily joined that book club. If you’re forced to participate, and there’s no alcohol involved, you could be in for a real nightmare. Plus, some people aren’t readers. They might be into boring stuff like math or science. Imagine if they made you do equations at their wedding. That could be awful.
5. And Do You, Wedding Guest, Take This Malaria To Be Your Disease?
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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The tractor noises add a certain… je ne sais quoi.
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Rustic weddings are all the rage on Pinterest, but this one takes it to a whole new level. While country-themed marriages typically feature mason jars, string lights, and rented barns, the real ones deal in mud, moss, and bug bites. We should be praising this couple for their authenticity.
6. Please Be Sure To Fill Out Your Post-Wedding Chore Chart
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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Just grab those centerpieces.
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Weddings can be tedious. There are sometimes long speeches, or even worse, it’s dry. But the greatest horror you could inflict upon your guests is asking them to pitch in with clean up and on an empty stomach no less. There’s a little something called a courthouse wedding, though. And it can be an excellent option.
7. What’s A Wedding Without Open Weeping On The Church Lawn?
From Redditor /u/vivaenmiriana:
My brother’s wedding. My family is Mormon and he got married inside the Mormon temple. You can only watch the ceremony if you are a Mormon with a Mormon bishop’s approval. I didn’t have approval, and neither did my parents.
So my brothers wedding consisted of me watching kids on the lawn of a Mormon temple in the summer heat while my parents openly wept.
Too bad they couldn’t make an exception.
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Certainly, those golden tablets Joseph Smith found buried on a hill would have allowed a person’s family to attend their child’s wedding. But we suppose rules are rules, and if God doesn’t want certain people in his space of worship, what can you do besides sit in the sun on the front lawn.
8. Nothing Says Love Like A Freezing Barn And Inconsolable Crying
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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Maybe they should have played the message after the ceremony.
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While the idea of playing the bride’s late father’s message was heartwarming, it sounds like this wedding could have used some actual warmth, maybe in the form of heaters. And of course, the message was touching. But it was almost guaranteed to cause uncontrollable sobbing. Playing it after the ceremony, maybe at the reception, probably would have had an equally emotional impact.
9. Just Figure It Out As You Go
Redditor /u/BigTrey3:
My fiancé’s brother got married earlier this year… The venue owners asks me and my soon to be mother-in-law why we haven’t started cleaning up yet and when she was going to get her final check. Come to find out not only had the couple not paid the final payment, they declined the cleanup fee saying, “The grooms mother will handle that,” and never told anyone else about it. The Mom obviously loses her mind and sends me to go find the groom because explanations are needed. I find him face down in a field surrounded by a pool of his own vomit with the other groomsmen trying to pick him up (he’s a big boy at 6’5” 260lbs). I get him up and carry him back to the barn, where his buddies nurse him back to life.
I come back to report to his mom who is furiously cleaning up. Needless to say my report did not help her fury. Come to find out they absolutely refused to allow cars to stay overnight at the venue, so after we finished cleaning, brought the groom back to life, and had his mom write a check, we then spent the next two hours getting drunk folks and cars to the various hotels they were staying at.
This is potentially the best brother-in-law on the planet.
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To stay behind, knowing you’ll be faced with certain chaos and disorganization, is an act of bravery. He could have just as easily hopped in the car, leaving his family-to-be with the mess his almost brother-in-law created. It goes to show that when you’re getting married, you really have to think about every last detail. Otherwise, pandemonium is sure to ensue.
10. Most Weddings Could Benefit From Mr. Worldwide
From Redditor /u/notdazzer:
Went to a couples wedding who were both on their second wedding. The dude was rich so everything was pretty nice. Except they decided a DJ wasn’t needed. She made a playlist from Youtube and had that playing.
The levels on all the songs were different, we had to wait for shitty wifi to play load the songs, and someone had to keep changing the playlist when it finished. But that wasn’t the worst part. More than half the songs were Pitbull. He was on every playlist, sometimes in a row, and songs were repeated.
Who needs audio levels when you have Pitbull?
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One Pitbull song makes a fun wedding. Two Pitbull songs make a party. With three or more, you’ve got a situation on your hands. Add to that inconsistent audio levels and a weird YouTube playlist, and the reception turns sour fairly quickly. But as Mr. Worldwide himself sings, “You better move, you better dance.” In this case, that’s basically all you can do.
11. You’ve Got Your Freezing Barn Wedding And Then You’ve Got Your Sweltering Barn Wedding
From Redditor /u/lawnmowergoat25:
I’m going to say my cousin’s daughters wedding. It was in Labor Day weekend and it felt like the hottest day ever. First of all, I’m not a fan of people having weddings on a holiday weekend but whatever, not why this was bad.
We drove an hour to get to this barn in the middle of nowhere. All the chairs were set up in this field in the beating sun, the service was about 45 minutes, and I thought the groom was going to pass out. He was 300lbs and had the suit jacket with the vest still on. We finally made it through the service and we got into the barn for the reception. No fans and no air conditioning. It was 100 people crammed into a barn in 98 degree weather.
If you have a summer wedding, think about the AC situation.
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People who have summer weddings, it’s going to be hot. And there will be a substantial amount of people crammed into a small space. Most people will just sweat and not have fun at your wedding. You also run the risk of heat strokes, though. Don’t make your guests wish they had just stayed at home to sit by their window unit!
12. If You Can’t Hear, How Can You Even Be Sure They Got Married?
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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Maybe she was just talking about those famed tropical birds.
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Not being able to hear the wedding ceremony from the second row is a bit of an issue. You can guess what’s going on, but it would be nice to be able to enjoy your brother and future sister-in-law’s wedding vows. Hopefully, someone caught it on video, so everyone could go back and see what actually happened.
13. In This Presentation About The Bible, I Will…
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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Someone did their homework.
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Weddings can certainly be a time for religious celebration. But focusing entirely on the Bible is a little excessive. Hopefully, the bride and groom also loved the holy book just as much as their parents, but it must be difficult to lend the focus of your special day to a religious text.
14. But Really, What’s A Wedding Without An Eccentric Aunt?
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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This aunt loves to grind.
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Aunts are usually the fun ones in the family. Sometimes, though, they can be a little too fun. They’re guaranteed to make memories, but not always in a positive way. Having your aunt grind against guests and members of the wedding party is funny in the long term but sometimes humiliating in the moment.
15. We Are Gathered Here Today To Untz, Untz, Untz, Untz
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byu/RedxSmoke from discussion
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Would it have killed them to put on some oldies for the grandparents?
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In a lot of ways, weddings end up being more for guests than for the people getting married. That’s why the reception music should feature a smattering of tunes for people young and old. Think more Billy Joel and less EDM. Of course, it’s important that the groom have his interests represented, but there’s a time and a place.
