Americans talk about loneliness a lot. Many still guess about who feels it most. The question hangs over families, workplaces, and friendships.
A new AARP survey of more than 3,000 adults age 45 and older gives a clearer view. Researchers asked detailed questions about feeling left out, feeling that people stay nearby without a real connection, and how long those feelings last. Those answers revealed a pattern that points straight at midlife.
Adults in their 40s and 50s showed the highest loneliness scores, especially those in their late forties. Men reported higher loneliness than women and more often said they lacked close friends. The survey also linked stronger loneliness to low income, not working, and major life changes. Many respondents said their lonely feelings stretched on for years. Those patterns give a starting point for understanding who feels the deepest strain.
Midlife Groups With the Highest Loneliness Scores
Adults in their late forties reported the highest loneliness scores in the survey. Many also fell into groups with higher numbers, including people who never married, people with low income, and people who weren’t working. The gap between these groups and others stood out, and the survey made those patterns clear without tying them to one single cause. The data covered more than three thousand adults, so the findings provided a steady picture of midlife strain.
Men in midlife reported stronger loneliness than women and often shared that they didn’t have close friends. That detail came up more often in the newest results, and it added another layer to the conversation about connection. The survey asked questions about feeling left out or disconnected, and those answers showed how common those feelings can be during these years.
Many adults said their loneliness lasted for long stretches. Some linked it to life changes like retirement, caring for loved ones, or losing people close to them. Others described shrinking social circles and less time for steady friendships. The numbers point toward midlife as a period where loneliness stays persistent and often grows without much notice.
Differences Between Perceived and Measured Loneliness
Researchers looked at how often adults said they felt lonely and compared those answers with scores from the UCLA Loneliness Scale. That scale uses questions about feeling left out or feeling that people are nearby without a real connection. Many adults who qualified as lonely through the scale didn’t describe themselves that way, so the numbers showed a clear gap between personal perception and measured experience.
Perceived loneliness stayed fairly steady across the past decade. About one in three adults said they sometimes or always felt lonely in each survey year. Many of those adults said their feelings lasted for six years or longer. The measured scores, though, showed a rise that didn’t match those self-reports. The difference pointed toward people feeling disconnected without noticing how long it had been happening.
Researchers linked part of the gap to shrinking social circles and fewer grounding activities. Adults also mentioned long periods of loss, health issues, and big changes like retirement or moving to another place. Those shifts came up often in the survey answers. Many respondents described life moving forward while their sense of connection stayed uneven.
Why These Findings Matter for Everyday Life
Loneliness shows up in many small ways, so it helps to pay attention to the patterns in your own routines. A survey like this gives a quick reminder that plenty of people feel the same distance, even when life looks full from the outside. You can start with simple steps, like reaching out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while or joining a group that interests you. Small moves add a bit of connection back into the week, and they help you see who’s still in your corner.
The survey also highlights how common long stretches of loneliness can be, so steady check-ins with friends or relatives can make things easier for everyone.
You can look at your schedule and find a little space for real conversations. Many adults in the survey said their social circles shrank because they stopped showing up to familiar places. A short visit, a call, or an invite can open that door again. People often wait for someone else to make the first move, so taking that step can shift the rhythm of your days. Loneliness grows quietly, and a consistent connection keeps it from settling in.