You might have thought that Ariana Grande let it all out in her ex-tribute album, “Thank U, Next,” but there’s a whole lot about her past that even her biggest fans didn’t know — until now.
In her interview with Vogue, Grande confirmed that she wrote the entire album in two weeks. And you may assume that writing it was a form of therapy for her. But if that was the case, it might have become a bit counter-productive to her when she booked a tour so soon after. Because that meant that every night for the foreseeable future she’d be opening up about her heartache and pain–over and over again.
“It’s hard to sing songs that are about wounds that are so fresh. It’s fun, it’s pop music, and I’m not trying to make it sound like anything that it’s not, but these songs, to me, really do represent some heavy sh*t,” she said to Vogue.
Much of that pain she’s describing centers around her ex-boyfriend, Mac Miller. Grande collaborated with Miller on music before the two started their romance. On May 10, 2019, Grande revealed on Instagram that the two had broken up, but still remained friends.
“I respect and adore him endlessly and am grateful to have him in my life in any form, at all times, regardless of how our relationship changes or what the universe holds for each of us!” she said, according to Billboard.
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Unfortunately, Miller — who battled addiction — passed away just months later. He was only 26.
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Grande credited Miller with giving her the courage to eventually play venues like Coachella. But playing the festival again after his death brought up some upsetting memories.
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“I was always a person who never went to festivals and never went out and had fun like that. But the first time I went was to see Malcolm perform, and it was such an incredible experience,” Grande admitted to Vogue while holding back tears. “I went the second year as well, and I associate…heavily…it was just kind of a mindf*ck, processing how much has happened in such a brief period.”
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That wasn’t the only trauma that Grande expressed.
Back in 2017, she was headlining a show in Manchester, England, when a suicide bomber took the lives of 23 people. So, with Miller’s death on her mind as well, the grief became much heavier.
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“He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had,” Grande said, in regards to her relationship to Miller. “I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming…less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.”
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Grande also talked about her brief relationship with Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson.
The two had a very public romance that ended with a broken engagement.
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She called Davidson an “amazing distraction,” stating that “it was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic, and I loved him, and I didn’t know him. I’m like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist. I still don’t trust myself with the life stuff.”
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Davidson publicly wished Grande well on Saturday Night Live after the breakup. Even though it must have been tough, hopefully he’s also healed from the media frenzy surrounding their relationship.
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Opening up about her past relationships must have been tough. Sure, she had no trouble singing about them. But since her songs could only be so long, fans never learned the whole truth.
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Plus, Grande was dealing with a lot of extra pressure while balancing these relationships. For one, Grande was frequently blamed for Miller’s death. Not only is that a heavy load to bear, but it’s unfair. Miller’s problems were his own, and nobody knew how hard Grande fought to support his health.
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The most refreshing thing about Grande’s interview is the fact that it is so honest. Even Ariana Grande doesn’t have it all together, and she admits that pretty openly.
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For someone who’s had three singles dominate the Billboard charts at the same time, Grande admitted that she’s still working on healing. And this only makes her even more relatable. Not many people can openly understand what she’s been through, but at least she’s no longer hiding her pain.
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Even though she’s presumably single, it’s probably for the best. Grande admitted that, prior to this album, she never really focused on spending time with herself.
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“I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me,” she admitted. “I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life.”
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Grande fans on Twitter applauded her for being so candid. Many of them also referred to her as being brave after she tweeted out the interview.
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With this interview, Grande once again proved that she’s both a work in progress and a force to be reckoned with.