It took me a long time to diagnose my anxiety. For well over 15 years, I felt like everyone had the same fears I did. It was all part of growing up — right?
Well, yes and no. It’s healthy to be a little anxious about a big test, or your wedding day. It’s not as healthy to let those thoughts consume you, and let the worst case scenarios in. Every day, I thought about what would happen if my husband got into a car accident, or if I accidentally left the stove on. Vacations were almost impossible to get through without me assuming the house would be robbed. Pregnancy and motherhood made things way worse.
Even as a kid, I feared doing the wrong thing or accidentally hurting someone’s feelings. It almost controlled me. When people told me to “relax,” I simply didn’t know how. And it’s still a battle, albeit one I’m facing with a doctor’s help. Aside from medication, I’ve used little tricks and tips in order to have more control over my feelings.
If you think that your anxiety is controlling you, know that it’s a legit condition. Don’t be afraid to seek out professional help, because in doing so, you can live so much better. But in the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt to try out some of these suggestions.
1. Work on your breathing.
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It’s amazing what a little bit of therapeutic breathing will do. Anxieties.com suggests taking one slow yet powerful breath from your nose and focus on how your lungs are expanding. After your lungs are full, hold your breath for three seconds and slowly exhale with your lips. This technique will help you calm down when you’re at your most anxious, and briefly get out of the moment of panic.
2. Cut out tobacco.
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Okay, this one isn’t really easy, but it is essential. I used to smoke, and it made things so much worse. In my head, I felt like the cigarettes calmed me down. But, they were doing the exact opposite. Even tobacco withdrawal causes unnecessary anxiety.
3. Watch your drinking.
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Much like cigarettes, you might think that having a drink or two will ease your anxiety. But, it’ll only make it worse. In fact, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) believes that general anxiety might actually be caused by prolonged drinking for some people.
4. Cut out caffeine.
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This is a sad one, but it makes a lot of sense. When you’re feeling anxious, it’s not the best thing to add caffeine jitters on top of it. If it’s too hard to cut out, at least consider cutting out caffeine after a certain point in the day, like 11 a.m.
5. Make time to meditate.
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Meditation is a great way to really focus on yourself. There are plenty of free apps and videos that’ll help guide you. Even if you can only afford to spend five minutes per day meditating, it’ll be five minutes well spent.
6. Create a mantra.
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It can be something small like, “I’ve got this.” Or, maybe just a reminder that whatever you’re feeling is your anxiety and doesn’t define you as a person. Create some calming words that’ll help reel you back into the present.
7. Write down exactly how you’re feeling.
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Put a lot of focus in your penmanship, and be honest with yourself. Sometimes, the best way to fight a panic attack is by channeling your energy into something else. Just get your feelings out there and don’t be ashamed for having them.
8. Call someone you love.
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Sometimes, just hearing a familiar voice when you’re anxious will remind you that you’re not alone. Ask them to tell you an uplifting story, and try to get temporarily lost in it. Remember, there are plenty of people out there who love you.
9. Be open about it.
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Tell yourself that you’re in the midst of an anxiety attack. Or if there’s something in particular that’s giving you anxiety, face it head-on. For example, if you’re nervous about a doctor’s appointment, openly tell them. By trying not to hide your anxiety, you’ll be able to relax.
10. Open up your high school yearbook.
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Or, if you’re still in high school, your middle school yearbook. Look at your picture. Try to remember what you were feeling back then. School brings along so many social challenges, but you faced every single one of them and became stronger for it. Think about how much you’ve learned since those moments. You’re constantly growing and getting better with each passing year.
11. Go outside.
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The brief change of scenery will help, and having fresh air available will calm you down. Nature is a beautiful thing and comes in handy when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
12. Ask Siri to play some relaxing music.
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Going to the spa can get expensive, but you can easily turn your bedroom into a relaxing place to collect your thoughts. Put on some meditation or massage music, close your eyes, and just breathe.
13. Put your phone away.
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You might grab your phone instinctually for a distraction, but it’s making your anxiety worse. Especially if you’re waiting to hear back from someone, or you’re expecting a negative write-up from your boss. It’s okay to take 10 minutes to yourself, especially when you’re anxious. Charge your phone in another room and take a moment to clear your head.
14. Clean your fridge.
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It sounds weird, but it’s an important and relatively quick activity that’ll allow you a break from your racing thoughts. Plus, the act of throwing something away is pretty powerful. Toss out anything that you know you won’t eat, and leftovers that have been lingering for way too long.
15. Spend some time with your dog.
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And if you don’t have a dog, maybe spend time with your friend’s dog. Or, perhaps consider volunteering at your local animal shelter to help out and surround yourself with dogs who need some extra love. When you pet a dog, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin, which can calm you down. It’s science!
16. Remind yourself that certain things are out of your control.
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A counselor once had to remind me that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink. Sometimes, our anxiety comes from decisions our loved ones should be making, but aren’t. There’s only so much you can do. You’re human. Accepting that fact will make you feel better.
17. Remember that you’re not alone.
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A lot of people struggle with their mental health, but very few of them are open about it. In fact, some people are embarrassed. But the people who love you will absolutely understand if you’re too anxious to go out, or just need some time off. They’ve likely felt the same way.
18. Exercise.
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Moving your body is one of the best things you can do. Exercise makes you feel good, inside and out. Even if it’s a short yoga routine, you’ll notice an improvement. You don’t even have to join a gym.
19. Drink a cold glass of water.
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Focus on how it feels when you’re drinking it. Water is almost like a natural cure for everything, so stepping away to enjoy a glass will benefit your health in plenty of ways.
20. Dim the lights and light a candle.
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Find one with a smell that you really enjoy. Sit on a bed or a comfy chair, and just take it all in.
21. Write a letter to a friend you haven’t seen in a while.
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It feels good to get real mail. So sit down and write to a friend you haven’t seen in some time. If they live a state away, even better — you can establish a new relationship as their pen pal.
22. Do a small task around the house.
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Anxiety can form if you’ve got a ton of stuff on your to-do list. Just thinking about the number of tasks and chores can be overwhelming and lead to a panic attack. So without thinking of it, do something small that you can get out of the way ASAP. It’s an easy way to prove to yourself that you’ve got this.
23. Sing it out.
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It doesn’t matter if you can’t sing. In fact, it’s probably better that way. Close the door, make sure you’re alone, and scream along to some of your favorites from the ’80s and ’90s. Dancing is optional, but would also help keep those anxious thoughts away.
24. Take a walk around the block.
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When your emotions are heavy and you feel like your brain is caving in, a walk around the block will change all of that. You can set the pace. Take the time to focus on everything outside, and not the issues that are bumming you out. Just a quick walk will do wonders.
25. Take a shower.
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Most people would suggest a bath, which is nice, but with a shower, you can feel all of your stress and tension melt off and go right down the drain. Massaging your scalp in the hot water will also help.
26. Try to find a drawing or writing prompt.
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Reddit is a great resource for both of these. Not only will you refocus your brain, but you might uncover a hidden talent. Just don’t get upset at yourself if your sketch isn’t how you imagined — you’ll get better, and the main focus is having a minor creative distraction.
27. Make an appointment with a therapist.
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There’s a good chance you’ve been putting this off for a while. There are a billion reasons why you can’t make that appointment. And you may not think it’s all that bad. But just give it a shot — find someone who takes your insurance and try it out. Sometimes just knowing you’re doing something proactive to handle the problem really helps.
28. Take a minute to look up some baby animal videos on YouTube.
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There’s nothing cuter in this world than baby animals. Luckily, the internet is chock-full of great videos. Allow yourself to take a break, and fill your heart and mind with their adorable antics.
29. Make an amazing salad for lunch.
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It’s true — you are what you eat. So when you’re feeling anxious, you might feel worse if you handle it by binging on fast food. Eat something you feel good about, like a colorful salad topped with chicken. Plus, since salads are so versatile, you can refocus your brain on what to include.
30. Put something on television that’ll guarantee a laugh.
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Ever have a really good laugh? Like, the kind of laugh where you’ve got tears running down your face and you can’t control it? Revisit a moment in the past that caused that. And if it came from a funny TV show, look to see if it’s on Netflix or Hulu.