Taylor Swift has been through a lot.
Her literal reputation issues (cue: Kim and Kanye’s secret recording) led her to write an album called Reputation, for which she toured fully packed stadiums, decked out in dark themes interspersed with serpents. Because, look, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now…
She’s too busy celebrating her massive success by being reborn as Drunk Taylor. Before all of the Reputation shenanigans went down, though, Taylor basically served us a home-grown, all-American, good-girl persona. We’d never even seen girlfriend drunk or high or messed up in any way.
In fact, if we’re honest, we all sort of found her a bit annoying (sorry) because she was always so put together, tidy, and innocent.
But now?
We’ve been introduced to the Taylor we have always wondered about: Does a drunk Taylor Swift even exist? Does she ever just get messy or let loose?
Let’s be real. Taylor drinks just like the rest of us.
And girl has been the legal drinking age for eight years.
From “drinking beer out of plastic cups” in King of My Heart,” to “spilling wine in the bathtub,” in her very sexy track “Dress,” you might be surprised to learn 12 out of the 15 songs on her last album referenced alcohol.
Luckily, we now know for sure that Taylor can get down just like the rest of us, as evidenced by the magical #DrunkTaylor video that’s been galloping all across the internet like an infamous unicorn:
In the video, we see Taylor partying in a room on Saturday in Los Angeles at Beauty & Essex after receiving her numerous her VMA nominations for “You Need To Calm Down.” Along with a bunch of other people — including Laverne Cox, Troye Sivan, Hayley Kiyoko, the HAIM sisters, and Brendon Urie — Taylor is seen dancing to her own song, mouthing the words while doing all sorts of #DrunkTaylor dance moves.
Threw a party to celebrate with the people who made the ME! & YNTCD videos with me- and we had so much fun that ‘Drunk Taylor’ is trending on Twitter. CHEERS. 😆🍾👍👏 pic.twitter.com/HPvQlSDSBM
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) August 11, 2019
And it’s a true pleasure to watch, inspiring memes a-plenty across the Interwebs.
Drunk taylor swift is my two moods pic.twitter.com/wPv53siAOy
— astrid 🪩🧣🍂🕰 (@stateofgracesw) August 11, 2019
Which #DrunkTaylor mood are you?
the 4 differente types of drunk people by @taylorswift13 #drunktaylor... I live for this pic.twitter.com/bAH8LNn1w0
— Ruiii (@Ruiiamaral) August 11, 2019
And this hair flip? Can we PLEASE get an amen?
#drunktaylor is my spirit animal. Like this speaks to my soul pic.twitter.com/AyMkhPcqCd
— Mairead Clancy (@taysflutterby) August 11, 2019
Who hasn’t pulled this move while a few too many rosés deep?
These pictures tell us two things: Taylor knows how to have fun. And we want to hang out with Taylor ASAP.
Of course, because the Internet is incredible, we’ve been blessed with insane memes like this.
Pretty soon, drunk Taylor will be everywhere — and on every continent.
Some Swifties admitted they would voluntarily lose a limb to party with TSwift.
i would cut off my own arm with a plastic spoon if it meant i was able to get drunk with Taylor Swift pic.twitter.com/qOrK48Haar
— brie 🌈❤️🔥 (@bettykissitbttr) August 20, 2019
We stan Drunk Taylor’s moves.
The only acceptable ‘You Need To Calm Down’ choreography moving forward is drunk Taylor.
— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) August 13, 2019
Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
Some stans always knew Taylor was this fun.
everyone: i saw the taylor swift drunk video she actually looks fun
— mir 🪩 (taylor’s version) (@folkslore13) August 14, 2019
me: BITCH HAS ALWAYS BEEN FUN YOU JUST SEE WHAT THE MEDIA WANTS YOU TO SEE YOU BRAINWASHED BANDWAGONNER pic.twitter.com/SrrGXUg1fp
I mean, have you ever been drunk enough to earn your own hashtag??
Nobody will ever forget this.
Oops—I did a thing last night...because #DrunkTaylor is a mood that deserves to be recognized 😇 pic.twitter.com/R0cMafzoss
— Lauren ❤️🔥🧵 (@LoSewsSwiftly) August 14, 2019
She even inspired some makeup.
Did my makeup for #drunktaylor pic.twitter.com/w5yDKlAy9k
— Kay (@kayla_Brieanne) August 12, 2019
Also, this meme could not be more accurate.
Less than 24 hours later, you can find her looking like this…
(And yes, that photo above really IS Taylor Swift the day after partying.)
But the thing we love the most about drunk Taylor is that — whether or not she’s playing it up for the camera — she’s celebrating her successes, surrounded by friends, and genuinely exuding a true happiness. And that’s a beautiful thing!
me when i heard “lover” will be out the 16th #drunktaylor pic.twitter.com/mEStsevFo0
— olivia (@delicateolivia2) August 12, 2019
Oh, and did you catch this circulating video of Taylor screaming that she “f*cking loves” Cardi B?
Everyone’s freaking out over Taylor saying “fucking” but I’m freaking out over the fact that she loves cardi b...#drunktaylor pic.twitter.com/pUxwB4wAR9
— 𝓒 (@boringbutterfly) August 11, 2019
Yeah, we never thought she’d say the F-word, either.
Laverne Cox spilled some actual tea about #DrunkTaylor, and it looks like Twitter got it wrong.
“We had a really good time, we had a blast! We were singing and dancing. Taylor wasn’t drunk, I know there was a hashtag, and she wasn’t drunk. We were just having a blast,” Cox said on KTLA 5.
“We had a really good time, we had a blast! We were singing and dancing. Taylor wasn’t drunk, I know there was a hashtag, she wasn’t drunk. We were just having a blast. She is so lovely. I love you Taylor, thank you.” — @Lavernecox on Taylor’s #VMAs nominations party [@ktlaENT] pic.twitter.com/6Fo6mea423
— Taylor Swift News (@TSwiftNZ) August 13, 2019
GIRL, you had us fooled.
All of this comes off the back of Taylor’s September Vogue cover in which fans delight in her eating “an entire plate of cheese by myself.”
“I ate an entire cheese plate by myself” @taylorswift you are my spirit animal https://t.co/Cym7VGFlBz
— Jenna ❤️🔥 (@spilling_wine13) August 8, 2019
Bless your heart, Taylor.
You have to give it to Taylor.
She’s as astute business woman with a keen eye for rebirth — musically and personally.
We’ve watched Taylor grow so much over the past few years.
Which one resonates with you the most?? Let us know with the hashtag #TaylorxELLE 💞 https://t.co/GOQG0zAcgY
— Taylor Nation (@taylornation13) March 6, 2019
It’s all evidenced by her emergent political views, her rekindled friendship with Katy Perry and her amazing essay in Elle Magazine.
In the essay, which came out in March this year, we can see how far she’s come from pre-Reputation era Taylor. You know, before the old Taylor died. In it, she writes:
I’m also blocking out anyone who might feel the need to tell me to “go die in a hole ho” while I’m having my coffee at nine in the morning. I think it’s healthy for your self-esteem to need less internet praise to appease it, especially when three comments down you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist. An actual comment I received once.
💬 | Lesson Twenty-One: Fashion is all about playful experimentation. If you don’t look back at pictures of some of your old looks and cringe, you’re doing it wrong. See: Bleachella. pic.twitter.com/yqQAIvj2c4
— Taylor Swift News (@TSwiftNZ) March 6, 2019
She even admitted being an approval-seeker.
We think her insights around this are super wise and useful — for anyone, celebrity or not.
Oh, and then there was the part of the essay in which Taylor admitted to learning how to make certain boozy drinks.
💬 | Lesson Nine: I learned how to make some easy cocktails like Pimm’s cups, Aperol spritzes, Old-Fashioneds, and Mojitos because…2016. pic.twitter.com/jzr90f8zyG
— Taylor Swift News (@TSwiftNZ) March 6, 2019
We love a good Aperol spritz!
In the end, we think it’s so important that Taylor is embracing life, having fun, and feeling better about herself. And hey — “You Need To Calm Down” is a great song with an important message, one the world desperately needs to hear about these days.