Amazon Is Selling A Bunch Of Tiny Homes — And We Have Mixed Feelings

If you haven’t noticed yet, the Tiny House Movement is officially in vogue. Skyrocketing real estate prices, the appeal of minimalism, and the ability to pick up one’s house and move wherever has pulled millennials and Gen X-ers alike into the tiny house lifestyle. And Amazon has taken note.

The same website where you can buy a bulk order of cotton balls and that as-seen-on-TV ear wax vacuum is now selling tiny houses. And TBH, we’re kind of weirded out.

We realize the 21st century is constantly getting stranger by the second, but in no way could we have predicted we’d be buying houses on Amazon.com in 2019. And what’s more is that these houses start at the low, low price of $4,900, which is shadily inexpensive.

So, what’s the catch? Who does Amazon think they are trying to break into the tiny house market?

The majority of the tiny homes currently for sale on Amazon come from a company called Allwood, which not only sells tiny houses, but also decking, paneling, wooden planters, gazebos — all things made from wood, hence the name. They market themselves as “an online retailer of eco-friendly Millwork and Engineered Wood products manufactured and imported primarily from Scandinavia and the Baltic States.”

timeout, did yall know Amazon sold tiny houses?! I just had this conversation the other day how i wanted to move into the woods with a tiny house and boom amazon is selling them. peace out

— Lew (@ChrisfLewis) August 7, 2019

The Allwood Amazon tiny houses, which range from about $7,000 to $11,000, are all shipped as kits, and can supposedly be set up by two people in a matter of hours, as the company claims.

Those of you who have ever attempted to build an IKEA bookshelf have probably already scoffed and said, “yeah, right.” Us, too.

The digitally rendered images of these Amazon Allwood cabins look amazing. They’re aesthetically beautiful and would look magical AF tucked into a lush, undisturbed forest.

However, as is often true with strange Amazon products, the image doesn’t exactly match the reality.

“No kitchen, no bathroom, no privacy, no insulation, no electrical wiring, and not code compliant in any way,” one unhappy Amazon customer wrote in their review for the above Allwood Solvalla, titled “Glorified dog kennel.”

“Calling this glass box a “tiny home” or, God help me, an “innovative solution to the housing crisis” is irresponsible and dehumanizing at best.” Yikes.

And despite having a 3.5-star rating, the Allwood Arlanda doesn’t seem much better.

“I sold my 300k house just to try out something new and this was not worth it,” one reviewer wrote. “I now need to buy my own house.”

it smaller then my shed

— AbsolutelyNoOne (@IamAMeatPopsicl) May 16, 2019

The only person who was more than excited to get the Arlanda was Amazon customer Alfred Dente who wrote, “EXCITED TO ORDER AND BOOT MY GRAND MOTHER IN LAW TO THE CURB!” Hm…thanks, Alfred.

Even the tiny homes available on Amazon that aren’t made by Allwood are getting pretty lame reviews.

This Lillevilla Getaway Cabin, which comes with an upstairs loft space, looks ideal.

But, as two out of three Amazon reviewers wrote, it’s definitely not worth the $19,000 price tag. “Less than 300 sq ft. (about the size of a living room) No roof. No insulation. No plumbing. No electric,” one customer wrote. “A person could buy the materials and build a traditional stick-built building for half this cost.”

You can even order one from Amazon! https://t.co/yWacqfBYRR

— Jason Underwood (@JG_Underwood) August 7, 2019

Not only are these Amazon tiny house kits seemingly shoddy, but if you’re actually trying to live in one of these things, then you need to really think this purchase through. None of these kits come with any sort of plumbing.

Nor do they come equipped with insulation. That’s important, especially for you cold-climate people.

And electricity is also not part of the equation.

Then again, if you’re looking to go completely off the grid, then be our guest.

The final straw here is that, according to several Amazon reviewers, most of the Allwood tiny houses are made with untreated wood. That means they’ll buckle, rot, and decay as soon as they’re introduced to humidity or rain.

So, we’ll ask again — are these Amazon tiny houses too good to be true?

They just might be. But hey, if you’re really into them, and want to give the Amazon version of the Tiny House Movement a go, then go for it. And definitely tell us if these things work out for you.

As for us? We’ll stick to using Amazon for things like tubs of cheez ballz and Space Jam DVDs, thank you very much.

Oh, Amazon. You never cease to amaze us.